HellaHydration
The Big Gulp
Thirty Four Fluid Ounces. That is the capacity of this hereTrek Voda 34 water bottle. As you can see, it is huge. Big enough that a 60 pound kelpie can hide behind it. Big enough that it can quench a gigantic, 'Murican size thirst. Big enough that it's a coin toss whether or not it'll fit on your modern mountain bike. This, naturally, begs a question: Why does this bottle exist?
Jump in the wayback machine with me (again), kids! Grandpa's all hydrated up and has that faraway storytelling gleam in his eye!
Okay, once upon a time, hydration bladders and mountain biking backpacks didn't exist. Camelbaks were things that soldiers wore when doing soldiery things out in dusty places, and water bottle mounts were brazed into two, maybe three places on yer garden variety, double-diamond "ATB" frames. The seat tube, the downtube, and maybe, if you were superlucky and expedition minded, in that shitcatchiest of all places, the underside of the downtube. Water bottles themselves were generally about the same size, and held between 20 and 22oz of life saving dihydrogen monoxide. Believe it or not, there was a time before Specialized began producing water bottles.
So, at some point (and I am gonna nominate Specialized here, because for a long while there they were pretty much THE water bottle pimp for almost the entire industry) someone figured out that water bottles could be made a bit bigger by adding some extra capacity to the top of the thing, and the now absolutely ubiquitous 24 or so ounce bottle was born. Bear in mind that this was still pre-Camelbak-explosion, when everyone carried their water on their bikes, and magazines like Mountain Bike Action would crucify any test bike that came with fewer than two bottle mounts. As such, the extra capacity water bottle was kind of a big thing for people who rode more than a couple hours at a time.
Water bottle cages, however, were generally flimsy and not that great at hanging onto even the small bottles, so the 24 ounce bottle was a potential liability in really chundery going, prone to being inadvertently jettisoned from said flimsy retainers unless you ponied up and bought yourself some King Cages.
Then the Camelbak bomb went off, and full suspension came along, and everyone pretty much gave up on bike-mounted water bottles for a while. Or at least that's how it seemed.
Time does funny things to us, though. Just as everyone got pretty sick of losing their bottles on rough descents, or having to wipe cowshit off their bottles before drinking, or gulping down bathtub warm Endurox R4 tasting slightly of plastic, people also eventually got sick of wearing backpacks. Especially when those backpacks often consisted of 100 ounces of water squished into a hastily designed bag that defied all reasonable expectations regarding stabilization and comfort. And sure enough, water bottles snuck back into the room...
For the sake of comparison, here's how the Voda 34 stacks up against a contemporary "normal-large" 26oz Voda.
Things have changed. Bikepacking and Gravelleuring are here, people are ditching backpacks for fanny packs and then ditching fanny packs for frame storage and SWAT pockets, bikes are either completely festooned with places to mount bottles or totally devoid of braze-ons altogether. When it comes to how you get your hydrating done, it is the wild west out there, all over again.
And lo, striding between the tumbleweeds and the dust devils, comes this tall stranger. The Trek Voda 34.
How's that for an incredibly long and tangential preamble to a review of a $15 piece of plastic?
Really, there isn't a whole lot to say about water bottles. This one is made from BPA- and phthalate-free plastic, as are hopefully any other plastic bottles you are considering. It has one of those rubbery pop tops like most of them. It isn't insulated (not knocking insulated bottles here, but generally you're gonna lose about 6 ounces of capacity in a futile attempt to keep your water cold). And sure as Sunday, it will challenge a good many water bottle mount locations. There's a small part of me that wonders if this is a sneaky ploy by Trek to de-legitimize the water bottle mount placement of other brands; "Pfffft, look, you can't even fit a water bottle in one of their frames! See?"
The superfluous extra top tube of my Falconer renders the Voda 34 a no-go on the seat tube...
But the downtube mount fits with about a finger width to spare...
Yeti SB140, size medium? Well, at least the shock will help wedge the bottle in place and hopefully reduce the frequency of unintended ejections...
Shock adjustment is best taken care of before riding, anyway...
Fat bike? More like party barge! The Fezzari Kings Peak can handle AT LEAST five of these things without even blinking.
All kidding aside, this is a potentially awesome bottle. No, it won't fit on every mount on every frame. Yes, it is more prone to flexing out of its cage on bumpy ground, even if running King Cages. No, it still doesn't hold as much water as even a moderately-sized hydration bladder. Hopefully none of you need any of this pointed out. It's kind of obvious.
For me, this is just what I've been looking for, without realizing I was looking for it. Once upon a time, a handful of people I rode with had a rough rule of thumb for ride distances: One bottle rides were short rips under an hour. Two bottle rides would get us across the Golden Gate Bridge for a lap of the headlands. Three bottlers and up were warnings that one better have one's shit together because we might be out all day. A 34oz bottle is a total game changer when it comes to this math.
Okay, no milk. Makes sense. No microwaves, I can dig it. But no wine? And why can't I put my hamburger in this bottle? How else am I gonna get my calories?
For those of us who have followed the arc from small bottle to big bottle to backpack to fanny pack to frame storage, there is a place where the Voda 34 makes sense. I was bike touring with some Portugese guys in Portugal once upon a time ("really, Mike? Portugese guys in Portugal? Do you think that was a coincidence?"). Whenever we would pull into a village, we'd stop and buy sandwiches and bottles of water. The Portugese guys were fit and swarthy and did not seem at all impacted by the blazing Alentejo heat, and would delicately sip from these tiny 8 or so ounce single serve bottles. I would buy a couple 1.5 liter bottles, chug one, then strap the other into my Blackburn Bomber cage. The locals would chuckle at the profusely sweating, beet red American slugging back gallons of water and downing tiny sandwiches by the fistful. So it goes. Not all of us are wired for heat. These bottles speak to me.
Yeah but... all the caveats: You'll need good cages. You may also want a strap or two, just in case. You'll look like the weirdest hunchback in the world trying to stuff one of these into a SWAT pocket on the back of your bibs. Instead of getting a couple of these bottles, you could invest in a King Manythings cage or two and then run just about any size, shape or capacity of bottle you want (which would also free you from the material tyranny of plastic, should you feel so inclined).
Heat wave ready, adult sized sippy cups. What's not to like?
Comments
Tim (aka DigitBikes/DirtBaggies)
11 months, 1 week ago
I read "Vodka bottle" every time. I'm gonna get me some.
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dsciulli19
11 months, 1 week ago
Was going to say this, I just want to say "Vodka".
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fartymarty
11 months, 1 week ago
Tim - Me too.
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ClydeRide
11 months, 1 week ago
Packs. They hold water, umpteen tools, tire plugs, a tube, a pump, my wallet and keys, a tire boot, a phone, a jacket, extra sunscreen, sandwiches, Baby Belle cheeses, a nice Italian sausage, some dried apricots and almonds, a first aid kit, pants and a puffy jacket when the weather is really shitty, an extra water bottle because one of my group is gonna run out, etc, etc. I’m standing my ground on this.
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dsciulli19
11 months, 1 week ago
I bought a Dakine Hotlaps bag with 2 bottle holders on it and bought some extra water bottles and rode with that set up (2 bottles in the hip pack, 1 on the frame) EXACTLY once. The weight of the water on the hip pack bouncing around on the rocks was miserable. Try to tighten up so it stops bouncing? Now it's constricting my waist and making it hard to take a deep breath. Nah. Back to my Camelback MULE.
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Vik Banerjee
11 months, 1 week ago
I rarely get there in terms of needing extra water, but if 2L on the bike isn't enough I'd throw a 1L soft bottle in my Dakine fannypack. Usually rides start with a long climb so there isn't a ton of bouncing and I drink the soft bottle first so it's empty before too long and I am heading down. The empty bottle in an otherwise empty fannypack is easy to ignore.
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Lu Kz
11 months, 1 week ago
Packs are great if they don't fuck your back up. I've had to figure out how to carry all that stuff in a hip bag and frame bags for big days. It can be a challenge, a bit envious of you pack wearers!
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ClydeRide
11 months, 1 week ago
Yeah, unfortunately this is emerging as a potential issue for my wife. All the more reason why I’ll be the Sherpa and wear a pack. :-)
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Vincent Edwards
11 months, 1 week ago
Much of the year, yes. My last ride was 90+ degrees with 80% humidity. Riding a bike that can hold two full sized bottles plus tools and a pump on the frame is a game changer in these conditions…
Cooler conditions, the pack is great. For folks with more than one bike, it really simplifies the ‘do you have everything you need’ question.
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93EXCivic
11 months, 1 week ago
Living in Alabama means there is no way in hell I am using a full backpack between sometime in May and the end of September.
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Karl Fitzpatrick
11 months, 1 week ago
This isn't a dig at anyone's riding ability but back packs always moved around way too much for me on any kind of more 'active' riding (unweighting, pulling up, lifting the back end, jumping etc).
Once I clicked onto Dakine Hotlaps bumbags and frame bags (in general), I never looked back.
Oh, I should also say, I don't typically have the time to be out all day (#dadlyfe) so I'd have to do some re-thinking should this scenario crop up...
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DanL
11 months, 1 week ago
USWE packs will solve that problem for you
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Pete Roggeman
11 months, 1 week ago
Lots of very, very good riders have done lots of very gnarly things while wearing packs. Also skiers. And snowboarders. And even climbers. It's nice not to have the weight of a pack swinging around but that doesn't mean you can't ride at a high level while wearing one. Guides do it every day. And photographers and videographers. And normal, every day riders.
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AndrewR
11 months, 1 week ago
Yes and this guide has a wall (storage hooks) of hip packs in various sizes for those non-guide days. A pack is a great tool if you need it but I will do almost anything (short of drinking out of a green puddle) to avoid carrying one these days if I am not working.
Hip pack collection in order of volume (decreasing):
Osprey Seral 7L - very rarely used.
Evoc Hip Pack Pro 3L (1 x water bottle & 1 x bear spray) - every day hip pack.
Evoc Hip Pack Race 3L - 1.5 litre bladder - used more before I moved to grizzly/ elk country.
Evoc Hip Pouch - winter hip pack.
Evoc Race Belt - quick non water rides when the bear spray can go in the frame bottle cage.
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Vik Banerjee
11 months, 1 week ago
I love big bottles and I cannot lie. At least in the summer a 1L bottle is handy for us packless riders.
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Flatted-again
11 months, 1 week ago
It looks like you're the perfect candidate for a full frame bag, something I've been considering for my hardtail too. Then I'd toss https://hydrapak.com/products/seeker-2-liter-2021 with a hose into it and call it good.
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Perry Schebel
11 months, 1 week ago
ugh. hydrating is over rated.
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Dave Smith
11 months, 1 week ago
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Cooper Quinn
11 months, 1 week ago
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Konda
11 months, 1 week ago
Note to most of the world: 34 flozes is 1 Litre. (And yes, I had to google it.)
A 1L bottle is my standard bottle, for a ~2-4hr ride. Unless it's under about 7 Celsius then I might get away with a 750ml... I don't do well in the heat!
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Burgess Langshaw Power
11 months, 1 week ago
Okay, but hear me out on this one... Why did we settle on the 'standard' width of water bottles?
Swap for one of these bad boys https://widefoot.com/product/litercage/ and you can fit a 48 OUNCE nalgene bottle in roughly the same space.
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Mike Ferrentino
11 months, 1 week ago
It is what it is, for the most part. I am not sure if I am just habituated to the contours of "regular" bottles or their rubbery valves, or if I actually prefer them. But the versatility of widefoot offerings is pretty damn good. You can massively upgrade your fluid portability by diverging from the old standards. I am a King Cage loyalist, however...
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cxfahrer
11 months, 1 week ago
Ah, waterbottle stories - where did you lose one (going downhill over a jump) , where did you find one (always in the bushes near that rattling corner on a fire road) , when did you win one (free swag at a race...) :D
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tashi
11 months, 1 week ago
“Gravelleuring” was the addition to my vocabulary that I didn’t know I needed. 😂
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Kelownakona
11 months, 1 week ago
Your safety label commentary had me laughing :)
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BarryW
11 months, 1 week ago
Me too! Thanks for the chuckles.
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Timer
11 months, 1 week ago
Clearly not intended for the French or US markets.
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Vincent Edwards
11 months, 1 week ago
The King cage. I finally bought a few of the steel ones for a Chromag Surface Voyager (no way I’m putting tacky black plastic holders on this thing!)…
Hands down the best classic cage I’ve ever used.
I’m running two specialized bottles inline on the Downtube (thanks to thoughtful frame mounts)… I like this system because I can run a hydration mix in one bottle and straight H2O in the other. Or one partially frozen bottle and one ready to drink.
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Cr4w
11 months, 1 week ago
I have two of the Soma 38oz bottles for my gravel bike for hot weather rides. My gravel bike is pretty damn big, probably around a 62cm so I have plenty of space. Where I prefer a pack for mountain biking I stick with bottles on the gravel bike but I have run out of water a few times on summer rides and that's where the Soma bottles came in. Two of those is enough for any summer ride, or at least to get me to the next fill point. I did experiment with hip packs and backpack hydration for longer gravel rides but it just felt wrong.
https://www.somafab.com/archives/product/further-38-oz-water-bottle
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BarryW
11 months, 1 week ago
Great stuff Mike!
Now that I've crawled through the entire King Cage site I'm gonna blame you if I end up buying a top cap mount point.
I already use Fidlock bottles and that way I could put another one there for epic rides, but not have a physical cage for everyday riding.
Right now I can carry two 20oz bottles. One inside the triangle, and one on my High Above Fidlock equipped hip pack.
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ackshunW
11 months, 1 week ago
Wow never would I ever thought I’d live to see such an UNGAINLY water bottle! How do you make a simple water bottle look so tortured, and also ready to fold in on itself at any moment? I understand they had “only one way to go” to add more volume. But my, so odd looking. Or maybe it’s sour grapes, that thing couldn’t fit my bike by at least 4-5 inches!
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Joseph Crabtree
11 months, 1 week ago
Who cares about the bottle, what year is the Em Zed?
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Mike Ferrentino
11 months, 1 week ago
1968! "Ran when parked", or so I was assured...
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ShawMac
11 months, 1 week ago
Whoah, Big gulps, huh? Alright
Well, see you later.
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lookseasyfromhere
11 months, 1 week ago
Shopping for large volume bottles a couple years ago for a long ride through Henry Coe I settled on a 2 pack of 32 oz Gatorade-branded bottles for $9.99. Despite their non-traditional bike bottle shape they've never fallen out. Though I concede I use them for more xc-style rides, not for the rowdiest stuff I ride around Santa Cruz.
And, if you're not squeamish about used bottles, they're pretty much ubiquitous at thrift stores (at least the ones near me) for about a buck each.
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Velocipedestrian
11 months, 1 week ago
+1 for re-using.
If you find bottles are coming out of cages, those thick rubber bands/bracelets (like the "Livestrong" ones) are great fitted between the cage bolts.
Leave it dangling for the climbs, hook it round the bottle before the descent.
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CameronK
11 months, 1 week ago
That 34oz bottle would be ideal for commuting, my 2013 Rocky Mountain Vertex would fit it no sweat. For rowdy trails I use an osprey backpack, I figure the bladder doubles as a spine protector and I prefer the weight on my back rather than the bike. I find stability is OK, even in the bike park.
I did a double take when I saw the picture. Your dog is identical to mine. Are Kelpies a popular breed in North America?
If you are ever in Sydney I’d be happy to show you around our local trails.
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Mike Ferrentino
11 months, 1 week ago
Kelpies are not really well known in the US. Lottie came from a herding dog rescue a couple hours from where I live, and the lady who runs that says that by and large people in the US are unaware of kelpies as a unique breed. This is my second kelpie, and she is every bit as awesome as the late great Lena Toast was. All the good aspects of herding dogs without all the twitchy nervousness.
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Adrian Bostock
11 months, 1 week ago
A younger version of my self spent so much time wearing heavy packs, on and off bikes, that it’s taken me years of yoga/stretching to get my shoulders to relax, and I am still working on it. I have scars on my hips from early tree planting bags!. these days anything under a 6 hour ride is generally done with out a pack. I will wear a pack when I need the extra layers, or need to be very self sufficient, but I never put water in it. hydration happens before and after rides. and depending on where I am, I have no problem drinking out of creeks.
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Kos
11 months, 1 week ago
Zefal Magnum one liter?
Been using these forever.
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Andy Eunson
11 months, 1 week ago
The current crop of vest style packs are quite good. But I still prefer no pack and a bottle. Funny thing about packs. People are always looking for a better pack, the perfect pack. There are certainly poor packs, like all those narrow sausage shaped ones that are not even close to stable, but no perfect pack because nothing is more comfortable than no pack. Around here we are blessed with water sources that we can dip a water filter into to refill bottles. I’ve done five hour rides with one small bottle and my filter. Bum bags with bladders are super uncomfortable for me. They bounce and come loose. Stupid. I’m gonna ride to Squamish today from Whistler. The EVOC vest pack will be utilized with the filter in it. Might take a bottle too.
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Mark
11 months, 1 week ago
My only thoughts while reading that first paragraph.
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[email protected]
11 months, 1 week ago
This comment has been removed.
Sethimus
11 months, 1 week ago
Hello?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Weights_and_Measures_Act_(Canada)
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mat8246
11 months, 1 week ago
I have a King cage with a 750ml bottle in the frame, and a Widefoot holding a Nalgene on the downtube (with additional strap for security). I could put the Widefoot in the frame but I prefer being able to grab’n’swig without having to stop and unthread the cap. If I need anymore than that I have a 1.5l bladder in a Camebak bum bag, but you can’t actually fill it with the full 1.5 litres as it turns into a heavy wobbly ball dangling off your back.
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AndrewL
11 months, 1 week ago
This comment has been removed.
gweb
10 months, 4 weeks ago
After being pleasantly surprised by the amount of room in my Nomad’s front triangle, I found a Giant cage which has lots of adjustment, and can now squeeze a Zefal 1 litre bottle in.
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