Why Do Pro Riders Get Off Easy?
"Yahoos band together to create an echo chamber to support their entitled views, build on the insanity, and then take it all a step further..."
Serenely Swallowing Standards
I know a dude who has had three warranty frames in five years, from the same company, all using completely different headset standards. He’s not even mad anymore.
29er in Front – Party in the Back
"This sounded like a really bad idea as I first read your question, but as I dig into it a little bit deeper it doesn’t sound quite as awful..."
GIVE ME FREE SH!T!
"What is the width of the handlebars on my bike? I’m sitting on the sofa and am too lazy to do this myself..."
Uncle Dave Has a Booboo
"I hit the ground like a sack of discarded pornography mistakenly shipped to a Salt Lake City Safeway..."
Find Me a Job to Pay for Sweet Bikes
"Not child labour bad - more like privileged child with a distorted worldview having his dreams crushed kind of bad..."
Are Product Reviews Full of Sh!t?
"How have we collapsed inward to a state where product reviews aren't worth the damn megabyte they consume..."
Uncle Dave – Commencal Frame Winner!
"I can hold my breath underwater for four hours, chew a shark's head off with my bare teeth, put a bullet through a gnat's ass at two miles..."
I Broke My Face and My Balls Left Me
"I debated how to answer this question. Earnestly? Sarcastically? Satirically? I finally decided on Scholarly..."
Secret Trails, Math, and Night Riding
“It can be proven mathematically that the awesomeness of various things (beer, music, mountain bike trails) is directly proportional to its exclusivity.”
I Broke My Ribs – Again
Do you know how to crash? Why can’t you sell your old bike for good money? How cool can a 44 year old really be? Uncle Dave takes on all questions…
Why Would Anyone Ride a Mountain Bike?
"It's expensive, there are lots of other sports that are just as fun, and hikers are pricks. Sell it to me..."
Why Aren’t Mountain Bikers Ambiturners?
"If I were you, I’d treat it like it is masturbation - whatever feels right is probably the correct way to be doing things..."
Dudes Insult My Old Bike
"Send them back home to their trophy wives and stainless steel appliances in sadness and shame..."
Must Get Better – Who To Ride With?
"They will also kind of suck and the concentration of aging crappiness will just cause depression for the entire group..."
OOPS! I Just Broke Your Bike
"Your only recourse is to quietly bad-mouth him behind his back until everybody he has ever met knows that he is an uncouth cheapskate..."
Is Mountain Biking a Personality Disorder?
"Oscar only gets let out of the basement a few times a day and when he does, well, he's off like a roid-raging teenager..."
Forget Marzocchi – What About the Maxxis Calendar?
Are all men are secretly just hormonal teenagers who will stop thinking objectively once suitably distracted with a hint of boob...
Could the Bomber Girls Save Marzocchi?
Did Marzocchi's best years coincide with the most buxom Bomber babes representing the brand?
Why do MTB Forks Suck?
Why in the name of all that is holy, does my mtb fork require constant service, but the fork on my dirtbike seems content...
Fat, Fashion and F*cking Wheel Size
“The point is, we’ve always looked pretty stupid riding our bikes…Dress up like your favourite dirt jumping from and maybe some of whatever-the-hell-that-takes will rub off on you.”
Are You Judging Me?
“It leaves me wishing that we were capable of conversing with one another without having to talk about the expensive shit dangling between our legs.”
I’m a Dad Now – Should I Sell My Bike?
Not sure if you're Dad Dave in addition to Uncle Dave, but if not, I'm sure you've had riding buddies that are now fathers.
I Don’t Want to Talk Rampage – Ask Uncle Dave
"There is almost no point in talking about this any longer because we’ve entered the domain of bad teenage drama..."