Ask Uncle Dave

Are all men are secretly just hormonal teenagers who will stop thinking objectively once suitably distracted with a hint of boob...

Did Marzocchi's best years coincide with the most buxom Bomber babes representing the brand?

Why in the name of all that is holy, does my mtb fork require constant service, but the fork on my dirtbike seems content...

“The point is, we’ve always looked pretty stupid riding our bikes…Dress up like your favourite dirt jumping from and maybe some of whatever-the-hell-that-takes will rub off on you.”

“It leaves me wishing that we were capable of conversing with one another without having to talk about the expensive shit dangling between our legs.”

Not sure if you're Dad Dave in addition to Uncle Dave, but if not, I'm sure you've had riding buddies that are now fathers.

"There is almost no point in talking about this any longer because we’ve entered the domain of bad teenage drama..."

"I know that every time you come tearing down Crank-it-up and you catch a flash out of the corner of your eye, you're heading right back up to ride that trail again..."

"We’re plunging towards disaster, one slo-mo infused, red-bull drenched web edit at a time..."

"You’re talking about a tremendously boring subset of a sport that nobody really cares about..."

"I hate dealing with the binary gear nerds who come pouring out of the bowels of the bulletin boards..."

A google search may lead you to believe that a Plus bike is one suitable for obese riders, but we're talking about something different...

None of these fork shaped objects should make it to market and the Product Managers at fault should be shipped back to the Quiznos they came from...

"As far as I can tell, there is zero financial logic behind anything remotely related to bikes..."

"Eventually, we all give in. Even the “26 for life” crowd is going to need a new bike at some point..."

"Why are MTB riders such critical pricks, and why, given that fact, are they also so sensitive to criticism..."

“If you put a lot of energy into creating fantastical worst case scenarios, it’s possible to talk yourself into/out of just about anything…”

Dave will be happy to tell you what he thinks of racing - and about buying yourself back into mountain biking...

"I can almost guarantee that 2-3 years down the line, your bike is going to look more like these bikes than the one you are currently riding..."

"I think we need an 'Enduro' Charter of Rights and Freedoms where everybody who swings a leg over an 'Enduro' bike agrees to not look stupid..."

Dave was ready for this question - so be ready to feel the brunt of Dave's disinterested rage...

Our hero calls this "The Worst Uncle Dave Instalment" largely because it contains useful information...

"Since then my friend has locked up his back brake and tried to wreck every corner he goes into..."

Uncle Dave faces off against the entire internet in a battle of wits and logic - and Uncle Dave is the judge...