Rap Battle: Mountain Biker vs. Road Biker

Who Will Win?

Words by . Photos by . Video by . Posted by
June 11th, 2014

The tension between mountain bikers and road bikers has come to a head. The only way to settle this is with a rap battle.

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Who won? Leave your decision below…

  • Austin Larson

    The road biker had better insults.

  • Amliesimard

    The mountain biker, all the way

  • Darren Leslie

    If we don’t realise we are all brothers & sisters together, only the car drivers & trail hikers will win 🙂

    • MPA

      It’s not about winning or losing with the drivers and hikers. That’s exactly the type of “us vs. them” posture that creates and perpetuates an acrimonious relationship between us and them. I used to have that mentality and unpleasant things occurred (I know, big surprise), but since changing my attitude to just being respectful and mindful (and simply being a cool cyclist, not some “me” vs. “you” jerky cyclist, I rarely have encounters anymore).

      • bradless


      • DIRTBURP


      • Darren Leslie

        Good point, I fully agree. Enjoy yourself and be respectful and considerate of all we encounter 🙂

  • Glen Gamboa

    Mountain biker, even some roadies have taken their bikes to the dirt. And, I’ll ride my endure bike to work and hit up some trails on the way home, thanks.

    • Glen Gamboa


  • Sonlam

    Mountain bike!!! Screw hairless men and tights

  • Ben Gill

    Mountain biker

  • Robert S

    road biker

  • scotch

    the roadie lost before he started, can’t move is skinny ass off to the shoulder he should just park it and stay home

  • Canberk Şen

    but what about xc’s?

  • Fresh bag of coffee

    Why isn’t cyclcocross represented? They’d be like the Beastie Boys of this battle.

  • Kenb321

    Road biker with the “I saved a few grams, cuz mine are made of carbon” line.

    • Ian Bongard

      cuse he is a weight wennie

    • Ian Bongard

      cuse he is a weight wennie

  • funny

    Everyone wins, that was way funnier than I thought it was going to be. Good stuff!

  • Rickybobby4410

    What about track riding?

  • Phil Martin

    Brilliant – dead heat as pedal power rocks the podium all ends up!

  • robert

    Mountain biker of course!

  • Night Train

    I love em both. As the song says “Loving both of you is breaking all the rule”. I also love how my legs feel after shaving. Great video,it’s a draw!

  • Videx Svetin

    mountain biker…al the way really

  • Kasha Beauchamp

    LOL! I’m going to have to vote roadie. I honestly ride both but the roadie seemed to have more relevant doss’s and comebacks… balls of carbon, haha!

  • Kyle Muggridge

    No road bikes gay that’s the end of it. they piss everyone off because they’re so damn entitled.

    • brazelephantman

      they piss people off because they ARE entitled……? you’ve missed a word out trying to say what you mean there.

  • Kai Farrow

    mtb ftw

  • allenink

    “I’d enduro your mom” FTW.

    • stampers


  • Gra

    Why was roadie’s helmet fit so poorly?
    Carbon balls won.

  • trichica mamaw

    I think the mountain biker won. (I ride a tri bike and a road bike but am a wanna be mountain biker) Now you need to do a triathlete/roadie one!

  • Patrice Halley

    Good stuff, winners are losers anyway, the essential is to be active whatever way as long as it fits your balls, carbon or titanium, trapped a baggy shorts or lycra and yes I know girls who have both and they can kick the boy’s anytime.

  • Jstoner

    Being more of a mtbr, I begrudgingly say that the roadie won. The mtbr had balls of steel , but the roadies were carbon! How can you beat that? 😀

  • Phil Avery

    I’d ENDURO your mom!

  • Nathan Turi-Mullett

    Yes it is sweat because it is slow-mo

  • 4orust

    The biker won!

  • liam

    mtb forever

  • Ottaviano Augusto Costa

    The Road biker of course

  • Spyros


  • Jake

    Cyclocross, bitches!

  • harry

    ‘check out that bulge’ only there cos he is talkin to the mountain biker

  • jadito

    please, i need the lyrics. i dont understand very well what they say cause i am from spain

  • Jacob Svetlik

    Mountian Biker all the way.The mountain Biker’s rhymes were better and as someone who both mountain bikes and city bikes I have to assume the man who preferred city biking is a wuss.

  • Gašper Krajnc

    mountain biker(downhill the best!!!!) 😀

  • Rémy

    road biker!!

  • Satanicus

    Hate to say it- road biker- balls of carbon- classic!

  • Shirtan Pantz

    Is that a young Alex Burrows?

  • Penni Marlow

    Mountain biker….no wait, the Roadie….wait…mtber had some fantastic points…but the roadie does too…..its a tie…lol..I have both bikes….so im just as confused…lol