Posts tagged with 'ask-uncle-dave'

"I have decided to leave the UK and move to Canada, specifically the sea-to-sky corridor. I think that's what it's called?"

"At first I thought this was a joke, but I confirmed with the sender that he’s not making this up and this is an actual honest-to-goodness problem..."

"Dual slalom was my best event - as long as the jumps were no more than knee high I could compete with the best of them..."

"Yahoos band together to create an echo chamber to support their entitled views, build on the insanity, and then take it all a step further..."

"Seasoned cyclists generally revere anyone who can twiddle knobs on a suspension fork or bleed a brake without poisoning an animal.."

"This sounded like a really bad idea as I first read your question, but as I dig into it a little bit deeper it doesn’t sound quite as awful..."

"What is the width of the handlebars on my bike? I’m sitting on the sofa and am too lazy to do this myself..."

Uncle Dave doesn't believe in either N+1 or S-1 - he has his own unhappy formula to keep him dissatisfied with the bikes in his garage...

"And then I'd hit them right in the f@cking face with a totally unexpected doozy of a change that required all sorts of really fancy, expensive sh!t..."

"I hit the ground like a sack of discarded pornography mistakenly shipped to a Salt Lake City Safeway..."

"Since then, I've been bribing her with cake on increasingly difficult climbing tasks, cleaning them every time..."

"Not child labour bad - more like privileged child with a distorted worldview having his dreams crushed kind of bad..."

"How have we collapsed inward to a state where product reviews aren't worth the damn megabyte they consume..."

"I can hold my breath underwater for four hours, chew a shark's head off with my bare teeth, put a bullet through a gnat's ass at two miles..."

"I debated how to answer this question. Earnestly? Sarcastically? Satirically? I finally decided on Scholarly..."

"Oval chainrings and 50 tooth cogs are new and I don't need them - therefore they probably are stupid and suck."

“It can be proven mathematically that the awesomeness of various things (beer, music, mountain bike trails) is directly proportional to its exclusivity.”

Do you know how to crash? Why can’t you sell your old bike for good money? How cool can a 44 year old really be? Uncle Dave takes on all questions…

"Because it is perfectly acceptable to be an overly selective gear nerd and I have no problem if you want to be a living-in-the-past 26” luddite..."

"It's expensive, there are lots of other sports that are just as fun, and hikers are pricks. Sell it to me..."

"If I were you, I’d treat it like it is masturbation - whatever feels right is probably the correct way to be doing things..."

"Send them back home to their trophy wives and stainless steel appliances in sadness and shame..."

"They will also kind of suck and the concentration of aging crappiness will just cause depression for the entire group..."

"Your only recourse is to quietly bad-mouth him behind his back until everybody he has ever met knows that he is an uncouth cheapskate..."