This might have been posted already….but I still think its funny as hell…
As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough?"
A man stands up, unbuttons his shirt revealing his perfectly formed pecks. Then his rock hard 6 pack. He walks up to her and removes his shirt the rest of the way. She says with excitement in her breath, "Can you make me feel like a woman?" He looks deep into her eyes and says "I sure can….Iron this."
An old cowboy sat down at the Starbucks and ordered a cup of coffee. As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
She turned to the cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'Well, I've spent my whole life breaking colts, working cows, going to rodeos, fixing fences, pulling calves,bailing hay, doctoring calves, cleaning my barn, fixing flats, working on tractors, and feeding my dogs, so I guess I am a cowboy.'
She said, 'I'm a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about women. When I shower, I think about women. When I watch TV, I think about women. I even think about women when I eat. It seems that everything makes me think of women.'
The two sat sipping in silence.
A little while later, a man sat down on the other side of the old cowboy and asked, 'Are you a real cowboy?'
He replied, 'I always thought I was, but I just found out that I'm a lesbian.'
A man and woman were having marital problems so they went
to see a marriage counselor.
The counselor, in an attempt to find some common ground
from which to begin his analysis said, "Tell me about any-
thing the two of you have in common."
The husband spoke up and said, "Well, neither one of us
sucks dick."