My penis was in the Guinness Book of world records. Until the librarian told me to take it out.
The NSMB Random Joke Thread
So the other day I was in Costco and had to go use the washroom. Just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, “Hi! How are you?” I thought WTF but decided to play along so I said "I'm doing pretty good."
The voice replied; "So what are you up to?” Again WTF, but now I'm committed so I said "Besides buying a new TV, I'm just trying to take care of some business over here."
Then I heard “Can I come over?” Well that was it. I was like "Fuck dude, that's offside." Then the voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!!!!"
Posted by: Stuminator
The wife & I went to see Adele in concert, but I was kind of pissed off. She sang one song, then the show was over.
Ohhh, I get it. "It's not over 'til the fat lady sings".
Blind prostitutes...you gotta hand it to them.
Question; What's the difference between a well dressed man riding a tricycle & a poorly dressed man riding a bicycle? Answer; Attire.
I was watching the Family Feud the other day & the question was "We asked 100 women; What about your husband do you wish was bigger?" The woman hit the buzzer & replied "His paycheck!"
Posted by: switch
I don't think anyone told a joke as well as he did. RIP, Norm.
I went to the local Best Buy store to purchase "The Terminator" on DVD. I asked the clerk what aisle I would find it in. He pointed to the rear of the store & said "Aisle B...back".
I used to love making sand castles with Grandad.
But then they took his urn from me.
Last edited by: Stuminator on July 6, 2023, 7:51 p.m., edited 1 time in total.
Most people get buried 6 feet under, but lawyers get buried 12 feet under because deep, deep, down they're nice people.
The great est difference between a man and a woman is the meaning of
" what an ass "
My cousin was attacked by a group of mimes. They did unspeakable things to him.
Q: How come Ken never got Barbie pregnant?
A: Cause he came in a different box.
I told my wife that her panties are too small & too revealing. She told me to wear my own.
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