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The NSMB Random Joke Thread

Feb. 12, 2019, 10:05 p.m.
Posts: 5427
Joined: April 10, 2005

I got my wife a "get better soon" card. She's not sick or anything, I just think she can get better.

March 8, 2019, 9:16 p.m.
Posts: 5427
Joined: April 10, 2005

When a vampire gets dressed up to go out at night, how does he know if he looks good?

March 29, 2019, 8:19 p.m.
Posts: 5427
Joined: April 10, 2005

Can you believe it? The tenth film in the Fast & Furious franchise is set to be released. It's titled "Fast 10-your seat belt"

April 2, 2019, 3:02 p.m.
Posts: 1194
Joined: May 23, 2006

A German general once explained that he divided officers looking for promotion into four categories: the clever and lazy, the clever and industrious, the stupid and lazy and the stupid and industrious.

He said that the clever and lazy should be appointed to senior leadership positions because they could take important decisions without trying to interfere with the work of others. The clever and industrious should be made their deputies. The stupid and lazy should be sent to the front line, but the stupid and industrious should be pushed out of the army immediately at once because they are a danger to everyone.


 Last edited by: tungsten on April 2, 2019, 3:02 p.m., edited 1 time in total.
April 2, 2019, 6:13 p.m.
Posts: 5427
Joined: April 10, 2005

Years ago a buddy set me up on a blind date. He told me "Just so you know, she's expecting a baby".

Man, I felt real stupid waiting for her at the restaurant wearing nothing but a diaper.

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