The NSMB Random Joke Thread

My penis was in the Guinness Book of world records. Until the librarian told me to take it out.

So the other day I was in Costco and had to go use the washroom. Just as I closed the stall door, a voice from the next stall said, “Hi! How are you?” I thought WTF but decided to play along so I said "I'm doing pretty good."

The voice replied; "So what are you up to?” Again WTF, but now I'm committed so I said "Besides buying a new TV, I'm just trying to take care of some business over here."

Then I heard “Can I come over?” Well that was it. I was like "Fuck dude, that's offside." Then the voice said, “Listen, I will have to call you back, there’s an idiot in the next stall answering all my questions!!!!"

Posted by: Stuminator

The wife & I went to see Adele in concert, but I was kind of pissed off. She sang one song, then the show was over.

Ohhh, I get it. "It's not over 'til the fat lady sings".

Blind prostitutes...you gotta hand it to them.

Question; What's the difference between a well dressed man riding a tricycle & a poorly dressed man riding a bicycle? Answer; Attire.

I was watching the Family Feud the other day & the question was "We asked 100 women; What about your husband do you wish was bigger?" The woman hit the buzzer & replied "His paycheck!"

https://youtube.com/shorts/hfg6uIDF2Fs?feature=share