My wife bought a welcome mat and put it out on the front porch. It says "Welcome home". She didn't like it when I asked her if home meant where the "Ho" and "me" live.
The NSMB Random Joke Thread
Vin Diesel eats two meals a day:
Breakfast and breakfurious
Did you hear about the singer/songwriter?
He wrote songs about sewing machines.
Or sew it seams.
I was at the bar the other night when a waitress yelled out "Does anyone know CPR?" I replied; "Heck, I know the whole alphabet." Everyone laughed...well except this one guy.
where the hell do you come up with this volume of material Stuminator??
If a service dog without a person approaches you, it means the person is down & in need of help. Follow the dog & you'll get a free wallet.
Posted by: impressedbyyourwokeness
where the hell do you come up with this volume of material Stuminator??
I have detailed files.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5OHnd1IqWmE&ab_channel=Faxandu
And the lord said unto Peter; "Come forth & ye shall receive eternal life"
But he came fifth & received a toaster instead.
Why do pirates carry swords?
Cause swords can't walk
Aarrrr, them be bad jokes. To the plank for both of you.
The wife & I went to see Adele in concert, but I was kind of pissed off. She sang one song, then the show was over.
I told my wife the other day "You know, it's a good thing we're not Mexicans". She asked why. I said "Because we don't know a word of Spanish".
What do cell phones & Princess Di have in common? They both die in tunnels.
Q; What does a man do standing up, a woman do sitting down & dogs do with one leg raised? A; Shake hands.
My wife & I went to the Keg last night. I told the waiter I wanted a steak cooked rare. He asked "Aren't you worried about the mad cow?" I replied "No, she can order for herself."
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