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Oh Great NSMB, I seek personal help.

Oct. 7, 2011, 12:27 p.m.
Posts: 14716
Joined: Nov. 20, 2002

you need a rebound so get it over with because the worst thing you can do is wait around forever and and have to rebound with " the one " so go act like an idiot and fuck things up with someone whom you care less about

Oct. 7, 2011, 8:21 p.m.
Posts: 1084
Joined: May 29, 2003

so whats the best way to nail the hairstylist? I just had my hair cut the other day and my early-30's, recently divorced/bitter about it all hairstylist who just moved here from Calgary was dropping hints, not the first time but your thread got me thinking…

For you? Give this a go:

1) Book another appt
2) Everything goes normal until she asks what kind of haircut you want, thinking that she screwed up last time.
3) To which one could reply; what haircut would you want me to have if we were to go out on a date?
4) sit back and enjoy the 'shens

Either that or just man up, walk in, pay for an appt, tell her that you don't need a haircut and she now has 30minutes free, ask her if she would go out with you for coffee,lunch,a walk and then leave the whole place stunned. If she says no, such balls would create a buzz and next time your in it may just well being like shooting fish in a barrel with the other stylists.

I was thinking of doing either one… but it will probably be a game-time decision and on a much less epic scale. We'll see…

Oct. 7, 2011, 8:35 p.m.
Posts: 1084
Joined: May 29, 2003

I'm not a huge believer in the "let's be friends thing".
Ex's are ex's for a reason - amicable break or not if you don't want to be together why work at being together?

Do you and your ex have kids together? If you don't then I think you should not put too much time [HTML_REMOVED] energy into maintaining the friendship - unless you want to fall back into a relationship that will most likely stall out in another 4.5 years or less.

I also don't think you should rush into another relationship. Take some time out for yourself. Every time you get the urge to go on a date go for a bike ride instead. I like Enduramil's suggestion about the Fat Tire fest.

Nope, no kids and the friends idea is another thing all together. That ends Nov 1 when she leaves. I'm honestly OK with any possibility for the future, but I (mainly she) needs to get to that point first. Given what she started and what she's doing, I don't think we'll be talking for the next 10 months or so anyways. As I told her, the door is closed, but it is not locked. I've realized today that we stopped being "good for each other", and instead changed to being "good to each other". Big difference when your thinking about the rest of youre life with someone. We lost the ability to push and progress each other. Got lazy.

It's hard to make Enduramil's idea work. Aside from wanting to get all the formalities of parting our lives out over with asap, I have a bunch of other things on deck. Gotta finish the masters… plus winter is coming - There is much to prepare for this year's ski season now that I don't have a ball'n'chain. :D

Oct. 9, 2011, 12:09 a.m.
Posts: 1152
Joined: Sept. 16, 2003

Gotta finish the masters… plus winter is coming - There is much to prepare for this year's ski season now that I don't have a ball'n'chain. :D

This totally would work keep me busy and the hairstylist/other dates would be like welcome distractions. Work is also a good thing too, and should keep you busy for the next 2 weeks.

Oct. 9, 2011, 7:33 a.m.
Posts: 8242
Joined: Dec. 23, 2003

right on this satifies my emo quota for the day. not even 7:35 am and im all topped up.

Oct. 9, 2011, 9:03 a.m.
Posts: 803
Joined: Nov. 23, 2002

i'm going thru something similar at the moment so i'll throw in my two bits, or how i'm approaching things.

firstly, don't be eager to jump into something else, even if it's frivolous, right away. take a bit of time to do something you enjoy like a bike weekend or something. then take some time for yourself to think about what you learned out of your experience with this woman and how that can help you in the next chapter of your life. most importantly don't run away from the experience, embrace it. by doing that it will help you determine where to go next.

I'm not a human in real life, I just play one on the internet. 

Oct. 9, 2011, 9:10 a.m.
Posts: 8242
Joined: Dec. 23, 2003

^ :rolleyes:

..

Oct. 9, 2011, noon
Posts: 277
Joined: June 3, 2009

Stay busy,and move on.
Ex's as friends sounds ok at first but remember 'move on'.
A lingering ex even as a friend wont help you establish any new lays or relationships.
Example: after dating a new lay for some time your thinking time to 'lock in' (propose). How do you think they will feel when they discover your still 'pals' with your old meaningfull ex? Better yet if the tables where turned how would you feel?

Bang her ass/face:damn: = poopsicle and move on.

I can jump and turn my bars.

Oct. 9, 2011, 7:42 p.m.
Posts: 0
Joined: Oct. 9, 2009

Looks like I'm going to be in the same boat minus the promising hair stylist. Only problem is girls don't seem to be stoked on the fact I still talk to the ex. Already had one say she can't see me til I get the ex out if my life.

Any tips? She's my best friend but things just can't work out when we try to be more. How do you assure prospects that she's not a threat?

Oct. 9, 2011, 8:15 p.m.
Posts: 0
Joined: June 13, 2004

… plus winter is coming -

that is the most reatrded thing ever even a retarded would say thats retarded

Oct. 9, 2011, 11:45 p.m.
Posts: 117
Joined: Feb. 6, 2005

Take your dad's advice/wisdom and find yourself an awesome jungle woman. I seem to remember him saying "I love those jungle women".

Oct. 9, 2011, 11:50 p.m.
Posts: 8
Joined: Jan. 7, 2006

Looks like I'm going to be in the same boat minus the promising hair stylist. Only problem is girls don't seem to be stoked on the fact I still talk to the ex. Already had one say she can't see me til I get the ex out if my life.

Any tips? She's my best friend but things just can't work out when we try to be more. How do you assure prospects that she's not a threat?

Your problem is that you will be telling all these new girls that she is your ex. The key is that you have slept with your ex. Not many people are willing to take the risk of you (or her) still having those lingering feelings and eventually triggering a back slide at some point. If she was just your friend, but you had no pursued anything other than a good friendship, then it likely wouldn't be an issue.

All of this comes back to the original post. You broke up, and for both of you to move on, you both need to get each other out of your lives. This is not the case for everyone, but for the vast majority, this is just how it has to be. For the sake of your sanity, getting the ex out of your mind is key. Do you really think you could handle having your ex meet someone and then all of a sudden you are number two?

I lost my best friend in a similar situation. I haven't talked to her since May. I don't know if I will ever talk to her again. Every once in a while she asks a mutual friend how I'm doing and my friend has told me that she still thinks about me every day. I really wish things were different, but it's just not our time. Maybe one day, maybe never. I've moved on and am enjoying my life as it currently is.

Oct. 9, 2011, 11:55 p.m.
Posts: 7967
Joined: March 8, 2006

If the hairstylist doesn't work out, there are 213,854 other single hair stylists on POF.

In all seriousness though, props about the breakup. Clean and solid.

It sucks, just don't become and player, and be broken.. You won't but just saying. Man whoring around with numerous females is overrated.

Oct. 10, 2011, 8:26 a.m.
Posts: 13934
Joined: March 15, 2003

Man whoring around with numerous females is overrated.

are you 'fabulous' on the side?

Oct. 10, 2011, 2:43 p.m.
Posts: 1084
Joined: May 29, 2003

Take your dad's advice/wisdom and find yourself an awesome jungle woman. I seem to remember him saying "I love those jungle women".

You are correct… he says that a lot actually. There's some things the old man has right, and there is some things he doesn't. I'd like to think the apple rolled just a touch further from the tree on this one point. Heh

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