Scratch. Pork belly from the grocery store, cure with pink salt and various spices (I do a maple chipotle one and a savory version with garlic, sage and crushed bay leaves) for a week in the fridge, rinse, allow to dry 12-24hrs in the fridge, smoke approx 3 hours or until internal temp is 150F, then it's like normal bacon and you slice off a piece as you want it. Mine ends up being fairly thick slices because I like it that way, then you just cook normally in the oven or fried in a pan. It's much more tender than store bought, and it doesn't shrink very much because it's not pumped full of water like store bought is.
You can smoke it with the belly skin on or you can remove it first, I've been smoking with the rind on and then removing it post smoker, but my last batch I took the skin off before curing to see the difference. It's tougher to get it off first though as when it comes out of the smoker it's mostly cooked and easier to cut through the fat layer, then you end up with the smoke on two sides of the bacon instead of just one (as the smoke doesn't really penetrate the skin).
Being cheap is OK. Being a clueless sanctimonious condescending douchebag is just Vlad's MO.