here is a story about my ex GF and her family and it is largely based on where my perspective on this comes.
I met this cute native girl while out with friends in 1992, her name is Susan and she lived in Calgary at the time. She had left the "res" when she was 19 to get away from the "Bullshit and bad culture she grew up in" She owns a very nice home, in a good neighborhood and also has a rocking job. This girl was super attractive, cute, good job, smart etc etc
Well over the two years I dated her I learned alot about the people and culture she came from.
Her brother lives on the reserve just outside of Calgary,he lives in a very poor structure for a home, doesn't work much, mostly sits around abusing drugs, drinking and being a victim. Her sister lives on the same reserve, in a spotless house, well taken care of,and worked (at that time) as a nurse. Both of them love their brother, but both of them also loathe his lifestyle and the life he chooses to live.They don't like that he is "a useless fucking indian" THEIR WORDS NOT MINE and they don't like what people like him are doing because all he is doing is prolonging societies poor ideas about what an Aboriginal Canadian represents.
I went to quite a few "native events" with her. I recall going to a big party with her at her bands beautiful rodeo facility. We had a blast, I was made welcome by most of her friends( some were racist white haters,and i was swore at and threatened, but you get this in every race).
As the evening wore down we sat at a table,and you know what they discussed…getting their brother off the reserve and into society, because they thought he would be far better off working and contributing than sitting on the res on his ass drinking himself to death.
I know they tried several times in the two years I was dating her to get him some help and off the reserve, but he wasn't interested in working nor improving his station in life.
Her Mom lived in Edmonton at the time, and was in poor health. Her health was so bad she had to have a major bypass surgery. Sue, her sister and brother all piled into a car and drove to edmonton. after their mom had her surgery the three siblings went to a sports bar for a bite and a drink. Her brother grabbed a sixpack for offsales and they went off to their moms house for the night. They finished off the six pack and her brother started into some his mom had…long story short he got bombed and when they tried to get him under control he tore his moms apartment apart. Sue and her sister sent him home on a bus and spent the next two days repairing and painting their moms apartment and replacing the tv and furniture he destroyed because they did not want her coming home from the hospital to a ruined home.
If a person wants to leave the "res" get a job, contribute, be productive and happy they can.
If a person doesn't want to leave the "res" but wants to live a happy productive life and not buy into the "bad part" of the culture they can
If a person doesn't want to leave the "res" and wants to remain a victim and buy into the "bad culture" they can live in what ever conditions they choose to.
My ex GF and her sister chose to change their lives, one stayed on the res one did not.Both of them chose to break away from being a victim of their past. Both used the programs available to them, got a great education and moved on. They chose to move on. They call the life their brother leads "his choice", do they like it no, but its his choice how he lives.
during the two years we dated we also went to many events in the city, and even a family reunion of mine. I heard people slag Sue for being a native, I saw people in store serve white people before her because she is native. We were seated in shitty corners of good restaurants or worse told the wait would be too long for us" One place was so bad I made a reservation for one, got in right away and when Sue joined me the service attitude changed from completely friendly to completely hostile..they couldn't pick our plates up fast enough to get us out the door. My family reunion was not great either as some of my older aunts and uncles did not like me dating a native and were prety vocal about it, one of them was so mean he made her cry. Fortunately most of them didn't care what color skin she had and were happy we were happy together and made her very welcome.
Where I am going is our aboriginals face racism and bigotry every day, i saw my own kin treat my GF bad. Yet they have lots of help to establish a life that is integrated and part of modern society .Some choose to do that, some choose not to. Some choose to look forward, and move off the "res", some look forward and stay with their people on the reserve and live a great life. Some like her brother choose to look backwards to the past, be a victim and feel they are owed a free living because of what happened in the past.
All three of the children in that family made their choices, all are living how they want, where they want.
This is my last contribution to this thread/