Couch potato is exactly where I would send you (anyone).
And here.
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Bogleheads®_investing_start-up_kit
This is a new version I haven't seen yet
https://www.bogleheads.org/wiki/Bogleheads®_investing_start-up_kit_for_non-US_investors
The (R) will likely break the links, look for Bogleheads getting started
Ironically a coworker just told me about his $GME funded Norco Range he’s hoping to buy.