just for shits and giggles i'm in the mood to make some observations about the many characters at the gym who i find curiously annoying. colour me totally judgmental, i can't deny it. it's hard not to people watch when you're in a tight space with a bunch of people doing weird self absorbed exercises… furthermore i like to think of myself as 'normal'. as in, i go to the gym and i put in effort but i don't go too hard or take myself too seriously. and hey, i also have a lot of respect for super fit lifters who are into it, but i like to poke fun at the style of some gym rats. i'm sure i'm not the only one….
prima donna guy-
i only go a couple times a week, pretty random at that. this guy is always there, so he must spend a shit tonne o time at the gym. he always wears a long sleeve shirt with the chest button'd down, all style. lifts free weights and then stands and stares at himself in the mirrors taking long breaks. one set, lots of staring, preening, strutting, more staring. like he's making love to himself at length. i get there and leave an hour later, he's still there. i never get tired of the guys who have no shame at all, can stare at themselves in a public place in a mirror at length, no problem. yup, i'm so hot even i can't stop staring at me. awesome.
big old guy-
must be early 60s, short very stocky and fit. wears a bandana and works out very hard, very serious. takes up a lot of space (lots of these guys specialize in taking up lots of real estate) doing a lot of complex compound movements. lunge with cable twists at great length. likes to put his feet up on seats and benches and lay out into the aisle to do different types of push ups with stability balls, shit like that. super serious. ask if i can work in and use the seat for pull downs- 'ya i'm putting my feet there eh'. oh sorry mate…
serial killer-
head to toe ink, guns and knives up his neck, lots of real evil killer looking shit, lightning bolts and skulls, gothic script (i don't know what it says, but i imagine it's like, 'i killed and ate my mom' nice stuff like that. goes super hard, lots of grunting and shaking. every workout is to max then beyond. don't wanna be too close lest something give and you become collateral damage. takes up a LOT of space. this guy actually fucking scares me.
random young guys-
lots of young strong bulls, impressive really. often seen at the squat rack or doing dead lifts. it's all i can do to keep from saying 'hey bud, why don't you drop a couple plates off that bar and actually do it properly and get the benefit of the exercise instead of just lifting a tonne o weight and crippling yourself'. brute young strength is impressive, but they haven't got a fucking clue what they are doing.
high school guys in groups-
show up en masse at about 4 so i'm the idiot for being there at that time. slowly and with an attitude that only high school guys can master, they crowd around a machine or bench and dominate the area for a half hour. most haven't got the slightest clue why they are there.
the texter-
sit on machine do set. text for 5 minutes. do set, text for 5 minutes. do set, text for another 5, this can go on all day.
godamn it's good to be perfect….
add to the list if you see fit.