Are you a good person/How to argue

Red, you are like the guy on the Snickers commercial who gets mad when he's hungry, but in your case you get mad when your bike park closes.

Posted by: Stuminator

Red, you are like the guy on the Snickers commercial who gets mad when he's hungry, but in your case you get mad when your bike park closes.

LOL

You might know me as much as my wife.

Posted by: syncro

Everybody wants to win, or to uphold their beliefs. It's natural as one's beliefs form part of their identity and when someone else challenges those beliefs they are in essence challenging the identity of who you are as a person. That's not an easy thing to back away from but is easy to get emotional (angry) about depending on the topic and it's importance in one's life. One thing I've come to learn is not whether you actually have the support to show your position is correct, or at least more correct than another, but deciding before hand how important a battle this is and whether the time you'll invest in the discussion is worth it. Sometimes it's best to just say your piece once, succinctly and clearly as possible and leave it at that. Majority of the time though if you actually ask someone to prove their case with some sort of supporting information they'll just spew some nonsense or leave the conversation altogether. It can be hella fun to debate stuff, especially if the other person understands the process of critical thinking and uses that the discussion.

I'm all about not wanting to be wrong, but when I am, fess up, say thanks and move on.

I hear what you are saying and agree pretty much across the board.  We'd all be better people if we weren't the sum of our belief's but rather the sum of our critical thinking.

Posted by: ReductiMat

I'm all about not wanting to be wrong, but when I am, fess up, say thanks and move on.

I hear what you are saying and agree pretty much across the board.  We'd all be better people if we weren't the sum of our belief's but rather the sum of our critical thinking.

I've noticed that - nice job. I've tried to adopt two simple rules for life.

#1 Don't fuck up other people's shit.

#2 Own your own shit. 

Slightly longer version

#1 Feel free to live your life any way you want, just as long as it doesn't cause other people any sort of grief or harm.

#2 Be accountable and take responsibility for your actions. 

In essence, that's all people really need to do to be considered a good human being.

Posted by: syncro

Posted by: ReductiMat

I'm all about not wanting to be wrong, but when I am, fess up, say thanks and move on.

I hear what you are saying and agree pretty much across the board.  We'd all be better people if we weren't the sum of our belief's but rather the sum of our critical thinking.

I've noticed that - nice job. I've tried to adopt two simple rules for life.

#1 Don't fuck up other people's shit.

#2 Own your own shit. 

Slightly longer version

#1 Feel free to live your life any way you want, just as long as it doesn't cause other people any sort of grief or harm.

#2 Be accountable and take responsibility for your actions. 

In essence, that's all people really need to do to be considered a good human being.

#3 If at all possible, be late.

I'd like to add one more. something I've tried to instill in my kids.

Don't shit where you eat.

#2 is refreshing. It seems accountability & responsibility have been thrown out the window these days.

Posted by: Stuminator

#2 is refreshing. It seems accountability & responsibility have been thrown out the window these days.

And there are a lot of finer points to this one. Accountability and responsibility are two rather huge words, because you need a form of awareness of yourself, your belief system, your social and emotional intelligence, for example, before a person can live that way on a day to day basis. 

Very important point.

Posted by: ReductiMat

Posted by: Mic

Are you talking to yourself here, kind of like in the Roman Empereror Marcus Aurelius' "Meditations"?

Anyways, the first idea of not getting so fucking angry is pretty good.

Easy to say when you don't care.  I end up caring a little too much about things that impact our lives.

I don't ignore points others bring up.

I think it has something to do with emotional distance, so to speak. 

In the last few years I have learned a lot about interactions and my emotions...not only becausw of a great counsellor I am still going to on a regular basis....but because of a shift in my own perspective. 

Ever read the book "The obstacle is the way" by Ryan Holiday?

Posted by: Mic

Ever read the book "The obstacle is the way" by Ryan Holiday?

I have not, but will check it out, thanks..

Posted by: 7racer_tong

I work in a public high school.  I've started meditating.  It helps.  

I'd be stoked to see the world get together for a barbecue or something, roll a few numbers, put on an old record, and embrace shared humanity.  Not likely to happen I know.

I have started meditating as well, and it does help.  Driving the Upper Levels through West Van every day can try my patience, but I find a quick focus on my breath and I don't need to flip nearly as many birds as I used to and I can move and forget about the BMW SUV that cut me off and weaves through traffic.  I haven't noticed a major increase in focus from my usual ADHD self, but I only started this month.   

I know I try to "win" arguments too much, but with all of you here I don't find I get angry because I like you guys.  It is just an annoying habit of growing up in an overly argumentative family.  I have a brother that is a lot like Zedbra and a sister that is a proud lesbian and negotiator for a labour union.  It can get ugly.

Posted by: 7racer_tong

I work in a public high school.  I've started meditating.  It helps.  

lol - I read that as I've started medicating and was like yeah, that makes sense.

This thread reminds me.  We haven't had a good mass debate about religion lately ....

I miss the christmas repgang.