grooming beer bike into thoroughbred

I took part in a triathlon last weekend. The swim went really well and then I got to the bike part, which I figured I would be pretty strong at. I felt like a kid who had accidentally stumbled in to the grown-ups section. And the results confirmed, my bike section dropped my placement a bunch; I averaged about 30 km/h for the 40 km. While, clearly, I can get fitter, I did notice nobody really passed me on shitty bike like mine (lol at the fixies! but did pass me).

the bike is a 80s Norco (sized via internet lookup table) with DMR mag flats (it's also my beers bike and second car) and some old 6 x 3 drive chain and friction shifter…you get the drift. I put shiny new gatorskins pumped to 120 psi and cleaned/oiled the chain and cogs. I paid $120 bucks for the bike and put new tires, saddle and pedals.

Any idea where is the biggest gain and most cash efficient? these are what come to mind, but can't do all…
pay to get sized in a shop
clip pedals
shiny new rims
better frame
bar rest close to the stem so you can be more aerodynamic

To match the time I got in swim and running I should be hitting 1:00 to 1:05, not 1:20. how much is bike, how much is me? is there magic bullet for sub-200?

Clipless and aero bars. Both cheap to buy and install.

Lots of practice riding in an aero tuck. Free.

If you can afford bars and pedals practice riding down on the drops that will help for free.

If you can afford bars and pedals practice riding down on the drops that will help for free.

I have drop bars, just not the aero extensions, I did headwind sections on drops and the rest upright. felt nice switching. I guess I should practice maintaing that position.

Sounds like clipless are a must. And from below, aero bards and skin suit (which sounds grim)

You could buy a used skinsuit and rock somebody's chamois.

Actually, there should be some skinsuit deals now that it is 'cross season.

Aero helmet!!

Seriously, you'll look awesome on your beer bike and it's good for a big chunk of time. Used ones are cheap.

First clip in though right. Some used tri shoes would shave a pile of time in T1.

Maybe a gigantic 150mm 80's stem, so you can stretch out and get your back flat and aero? Or whatever it takes to get your body aero. I'm hoping it's a 150mm stem lol.

And as you probably know, it'll just be the same tri suit/ shorts for the whole thing. Jammer's with no chamois will be fine for sprint distance. Mountain bikers have taints of steel.

Getting under or close to an hour will take a full carbon pile o' cash bike and kit. If you're really strong I think you should be able to get down close to the 1:10 range on a shit bike.

I took part in a triathlon last weekend. The swim went really well and then I got to the bike part, which I figured I would be pretty strong at. I felt like a kid who had accidentally stumbled in to the grown-ups section. And the results confirmed, my bike section dropped my placement a bunch; I averaged about 30 km/h for the 40 km. While, clearly, I can get fitter, I did notice nobody really passed me on shitty bike like mine (lol at the fixies! but did pass me).

the bike is a 80s Norco (sized via internet lookup table) with DMR mag flats (it's also my beers bike and second car) and some old 6 x 3 drive chain and friction shifter…you get the drift. I put shiny new gatorskins pumped to 120 psi and cleaned/oiled the chain and cogs. I paid $120 bucks for the bike and put new tires, saddle and pedals.

Any idea where is the biggest gain and most cash efficient? these are what come to mind, but can't do all…
pay to get sized in a shop
clip pedals
shiny new rims
better frame
bar rest close to the stem so you can be more aerodynamic

To match the time I got in swim and running I should be hitting 1:00 to 1:05, not 1:20. how much is bike, how much is me? is there magic bullet for sub-200?

Without seeing the bike not easy to give suggestions.

Bad photo of a photo. That is a 1987 or 88 Centurion Ironman Frame Picked it up in summer of 2001 for $130 which included the Look pedals. Only upgrades where made in 2002 when I moved to Ontario when I started racing Tri/Du again.

Scott Aero bars picked up at Cables and Cogs for I think $15
Swapped out the stem for a Profile Quill adapter for threadless stems…$10
Stem $5

For 4 years on this Luddite tri bike was the bane of my age group. Was the provincial Duathlon Age Group champion in 2003. Time and and again would suck on the swim and catch all the guys on high end carbon bikes. Greatest pass had to be 2003 at the NOTL Du. Caught a guy who was one age group down on a guessing $8,000 Felt tri bike, full aero with TT type bars. As I go past he glances over and 2 buddies near him hear " You gotta be shitting me" when he saw what I was blowing past him on.

It is way more fun beating guys in your age group on bikes like this.

Getting under or close to an hour will take a full carbon pile o' cash bike and kit. If you're really strong I think you should be able to get down close to the 1:10 range on a shit bike.

In triathlon age groupers shell out $$ for carbon that doesn't make them faster. But in the end doesn't mean anything unless you got the engine and drive to power it. Trust me these guys go through parts and such like you wouldn't believe.

If it wasn't for Tri Geeks willing to buy performance instead of work to get it. Cervelo would have never succeded.

Hmmm….I have a 1987 Centurion LeMans frame….maybe a winter project.

You could buy a used skinsuit and rock somebody's chamois.

Actually, there should be some skinsuit deals now that it is 'cross season.

Uhm…no. Those don't work as well in Tri when you factor in the swim. Plus running with the cycling Chamois is suckage. If one wants to go the skin suit route go with one for the sport. The chamois in a Trisuit which is the Tri skin suit is a fleece pad. Doesn't get waterlogged and as I have heard described a wet chamois….like a wet diaper. The other benefit of the fleece pad is it dries faster once wet.

If you're really strong I think you should be able to get down close to the 1:10 range on a shit bike.

Aero helmet would seem like value for money. They seem kinda poser-ish, maybe I'm the poser for not wanting to be seen with one. See what CL has.
oh and the term "shit bike" is offensive to shit bikes. "beer bike" hurt fewer feelings.

For 4 years on this Luddite tri bike was the bane of my age group.

That's inspirational. I like the prices for the gear too, I was already looking at new aerobars, Craiglist and bike kitchen here I come. I take pride in not wasting money or being the obvious eye sore in an otherwise perfect set-up.
I did the tri in my flamboyant shorts. Which felt good, a few too serious people there, but mostly everyone seemed have fun and time for nod and a smile.

I did 33, 1:20 and 51, Olympic length obviously. But I was training for a marathon and threw this in for fun. my only bike and swim training was four full length ride and swims before the event. Swimming is easy, if you go with the flow and take the time to breathe…of my friends who claim not to be able swim much, mostly they seem to scramble like crazy and tire after two lengths…easy to fix. What really surprised me was how much the swim helped my running in terms of recovery. Except the benefit of the swim was soon outweighed by the damage of doing the bike/run…killed my calves (I also run minimalist shoes).

here's the bike, not sure if it'll work: https://www.flickr.com/photos/alexwicks/4101573879/in/datetaken/ edit: I took the fenders off for extra performance

I'm good without the second hand chamois. In fact I've either got a tough arse or too much fat, but I have no issue with getting sore. I just kept my swimming shorts on.

So I think right now my list
true wheels
aerobars
clipless
cheap helmet if poss (to be worn only with flamboyant shorts to compensate)

Is there a recommendation for clipless?

clipless really should be at the top of the list.

A ton of energy going to waste, not to mention lack of proper leg development because you're basically just mashing the 1:00 - 5:00. If you're have stupidly grippy shoes, maybe you can get a bit more on the top end, and a bit more on the lower end… but still…

That said, just get some road clips, and any road shoe that a) fits your budget, b) fits.

I wouldn't recommending going too cheap, just because the fit is terrible, and all velcro straps are the suck.

You could also go with a tri shoe, but seemingly how you have something against showing up to a tri looking like you know what you're doing, I would use a regular road shoe instead.

Almost forgot the sexiest accessory of all for the beer bike of magnificence:

Wheel cover for back wheel, Tomac style.

Really though beyond speed tac ons for style points, you just need to get your body down and out of the way for speed. Tricky as you usually run out of top tube length on a road bike. TT bikes leave room for insane seat angles and subsequently allow slammed front ends.

Maybe a forward offset seatpost too then.

If you can get in with a big Tri group facebook page, that's where the deals are.

consider renting a bike for events and using your bike for training

Hard to go wrong with Shimano SPD-SL. Easy to walk on the cleats, widely available, and generally durable. I would recommend the newer carbon bodied pedals if you can swing it.

Wheel cover for back wheel, Tomac style.

Really though beyond speed tac ons for style points, you just need to get your body down and out of the way for speed. Tricky as you usually run out of top tube length on a road bike. TT bikes leave room for insane seat angles and subsequently allow slammed front ends.

Maybe a forward offset seatpost too then.

I'm starting to come round to most of what you said. Looking for 2nd hand helmet and aerobars. Maybe an enormous stem to boot. Also advice seems to be drop the bars and move seat forward…I have an inch or two on the saddle bar, see how that works.
shimano SPD SL for 40 bux on wiggle. bont riot tr shoes sound good to me, but I think I should go to LBS for them. can't make head or tails on online reviews for fit. NOt the cheapest, but I figure shoes is not the place to skimp completely.
If this cuts my commute time, then it's good I can justify some of the expense. It's 36 km, but with 25 km headwind more often than not on the way to work. I'm hoping being aerodynamic pays good dividends.
thanks, I'll post pics of what it looks like when I'm done.