I put some 35mm Derbys on my E29 after going through the Traverses it came with and then a set of Flows. The Derbys are almost too much. At first I was digging in too much, driving them the same way I would my softer, more compliant Flows. I had to learn to ride them differently. They're mega stiff. Good thing I went to butted spokes to give the rims some room to flex. Now I think they ride great. Very precise, hard charging.
I think carbon rims are pretty necessary if you're riding an aggressive 29er around here; especially if you're over 200lbs. Though whether it's the carbon, the width or the depth that brings the extra stiffness I couldn't tell you. Given where tires are at I'm not sure it's worth going any wider than 35mm, which is already a big jump for most people.
There is for sure some merit in really stiff rims at the end of the spectrum as you described - aggro 29'er ridden by a bigger dude.
The exceptionally wide rims I especially don't understand unless your tires are so damn tall (Magic Marys) that you need some width to keep the tire from falling over.
For everything else you want some level of compliance and forgiveness or you're in for a rough ride. We learned this 20 years ago and those were just aluminum rims, I can't imagine a 40mm carbon rim being good for much, other than pure strength.