but I hurt my knee, but I'm still getting used to these new forks, but my gears are out of adjustment, but my brakes need a bleed, it's just these shit Shimano gears, it's these shit SRAM gears throwing me off, if I only had my other tyres, if I had more travel, if I had less travel, if I was going a bit faster, if I had a chainguide, if my bars were higher, if my bars were lower, if my bars were wider, if it wasn't for that damn tree, if I had a 29'er, if I had a DH bike, if I was on a dually, if I had tubeless, if I had a dropper post, if I had sticky rubber shoes, if I was clipped in, if I had a lower tyre pressure, if I had my shock custom tuned, if I had my Ti spring, if my backpack wasn't so full, if I had my knee guards on, if I wasn't trying to get a KOM on Strava, if I didn't have carbon bars, if my grips didn't spin, if my rotors weren't glazed, if it wasn't on my last run, if I had a through axle fork, if I had longer pedal pins, if I had faster rolling tyres, if my GPS wasn't flat, if my sunnies weren't all fogged up, if my arms weren't so pumped, if I wasn't such a blouse, if my headset wasn't so loose, if my shock bushes weren't so worn, if my BB wasn't so low, if I had shorter cranks, if the run in wasn't so sketchy, if the transition was a bit steeper, if it wasn't getting so dark, if my hands weren't sore, if I had my neck brace, if I had my full face, if I had a lighter lense tint, if I had double ply tyres, if I wasn't running a triple, if I wasn't on my own, if I had an allen key to adjust my seat, if I had my mud tyres, if my shorts weren't so baggy, if I had bibs on, if I didn't have these carbon rims, if my lockout wasn't playing up, if I wasn't tapering for that race next week, if my cleats weren't clogged with mud, if my wheels were not so out of true, if I don't want to burp my tubeless tyres, if my brakes were bedded in, if my cassette wasn't so worn out, if my head angle was a bit slacker……
I summarized :lol:
Or all the stunts I would have done….but (insert injury/bike malfunction/crosswind/hangnail/trail problem/grom in the way here) prevented me from doing it.