#!markdown
A great deal of my women friends are well matched w/ their rider SO's /
Partners. A few are single, but not that many (many more of my men friends are
single / pining for women rider Partners than single women riders for men,
reflective of the current demographics).
The competitiveness is a moot point for most of these couples that have
settled into Partner status (besides the occassional breakaway, of course).
They each realize and celebrate the others' strengths, and have a large enough
friend base to plan separate (but not lonely) other rides if particular speed
/ skill level differences may complicate a couples' ride. Even then, they find
the time to ride together either casual / exploring or riding bikes that will
level the field more (ie, road riding for fun if one is more of a stronger mtb
rider and the other a better cross racer).
Of course, this is SF Bay Area, where most serious women riders are widely
acknowledged by their men rider peers for their badassery (vs. protecting
their tender man-egos asserting their testosterone). Most of the men, at least
(idiots do pop up everywhere on this planet, unfortunately).
I do have one woman rider friend, though, who did voice your concerns
commented. Any time a guy would talk about their trail / cross / road
experiences, she was consistent with making a point about her own prowess on
those same rides. To excess some times, and it seemed to stem from
hypercompetitiveness vs. men (conversely she was very outwardly supportive /
never vocally competitive with her fellow women riders). For at least a couple
years, she was single, and defaulted to men riders intimidation (expressed in
bruised man-ego quotes similar to yours) at her own badassery as the #1 reason
she hadn't found a partner that rides.
Over the past year, she's settled in with a partner who rides hundreds of
miles / mo, but at his own casual speed. Not a racer, nothing to prove on his
part, but someone who loves multi-displine riding as much as she. Nowadays she
doesn't ever mention her riding ability (despite their shared amazing bike
adventures), more relishing in being outdoors w/ someone she loves. And the
happiness seems quite mutual. She still shreds it, but doesn't seem to be
concerned with reiterating her shred-dom anytime a man talks about his ride in
front of her. She's happy to talk about her own solo, women-only, group, and
partner rides with the enthusiasm / lack of ego. And, of course, she's a ball
of anger with the fury of a thousand suns for any idiot dude that talks trash
on women riders, both online and in person.
She, like my other women friends w/ men rider partners, appear to have found a
way to happiness that addresses your last paragraph: non-competitive partners
/ variety of riding disciplines to address strengths & rooms for
improvement when riding w/ SO's / variety of riding partners so they're not
pigeonholed w/ just their SO's.
Of course, these are just observations. And as so, I'm sure there are many
mitigating circumstances of which I'm not aware that may lurk beneath the
happy sheen of these partnerships. Grain of salt, etc.
Best wishes in your happiness, in riding and life, whether it be solo, or with
an eventual partner.
June 10, 2015, 2:14 p.m. - Kurtz
#!markdown A great deal of my women friends are well matched w/ their rider SO's / Partners. A few are single, but not that many (many more of my men friends are single / pining for women rider Partners than single women riders for men, reflective of the current demographics). The competitiveness is a moot point for most of these couples that have settled into Partner status (besides the occassional breakaway, of course). They each realize and celebrate the others' strengths, and have a large enough friend base to plan separate (but not lonely) other rides if particular speed / skill level differences may complicate a couples' ride. Even then, they find the time to ride together either casual / exploring or riding bikes that will level the field more (ie, road riding for fun if one is more of a stronger mtb rider and the other a better cross racer). Of course, this is SF Bay Area, where most serious women riders are widely acknowledged by their men rider peers for their badassery (vs. protecting their tender man-egos asserting their testosterone). Most of the men, at least (idiots do pop up everywhere on this planet, unfortunately). I do have one woman rider friend, though, who did voice your concerns commented. Any time a guy would talk about their trail / cross / road experiences, she was consistent with making a point about her own prowess on those same rides. To excess some times, and it seemed to stem from hypercompetitiveness vs. men (conversely she was very outwardly supportive / never vocally competitive with her fellow women riders). For at least a couple years, she was single, and defaulted to men riders intimidation (expressed in bruised man-ego quotes similar to yours) at her own badassery as the #1 reason she hadn't found a partner that rides. Over the past year, she's settled in with a partner who rides hundreds of miles / mo, but at his own casual speed. Not a racer, nothing to prove on his part, but someone who loves multi-displine riding as much as she. Nowadays she doesn't ever mention her riding ability (despite their shared amazing bike adventures), more relishing in being outdoors w/ someone she loves. And the happiness seems quite mutual. She still shreds it, but doesn't seem to be concerned with reiterating her shred-dom anytime a man talks about his ride in front of her. She's happy to talk about her own solo, women-only, group, and partner rides with the enthusiasm / lack of ego. And, of course, she's a ball of anger with the fury of a thousand suns for any idiot dude that talks trash on women riders, both online and in person. She, like my other women friends w/ men rider partners, appear to have found a way to happiness that addresses your last paragraph: non-competitive partners / variety of riding disciplines to address strengths & rooms for improvement when riding w/ SO's / variety of riding partners so they're not pigeonholed w/ just their SO's. Of course, these are just observations. And as so, I'm sure there are many mitigating circumstances of which I'm not aware that may lurk beneath the happy sheen of these partnerships. Grain of salt, etc. Best wishes in your happiness, in riding and life, whether it be solo, or with an eventual partner.