Feb. 2, 2016, 3:23 p.m. -  DrewM

#!markdown I know what most folks are thinking: "Yeah, but mountain biking is a sport of doers… who gives a flying f***tress if the top pros have another way to cheat their way to a pay check… I'm all about shredding some brown pow with my bros & sistos, smelling - hearing - and sometimes tasting nature, and after ride wobbly pops… this doesn't impact me at all" Maybe… maybe you're correct righteously naive mountain bike ripper… but fast forward to this spring… you know that guy-or-gal in your ride group with the full time job and the epic hamburger addiction who hasn't been around this winter? Oh sure, they tell you "I've been getting up every morning before work… rain - snow - below zero - apocalypse… and doing hill intervals on my road bike" and "on Sunday I pull my kid 50kms in the trailer for a coffee and some family time on the other side of town, so I can make sure I'm getting my spin on 7-days a week"… and heck, I guess it is possible that they are "way more fit" and it's just the daily dosage of malt beverages that have them looking exactly the same as last year… right?! And now they're ripping up hills while holding complex conversations about how much they'd prefer a wide range - wide chain - 5-speed groupo over the close ratios but lackluster life and poor chainline of 1×11 (12?) while you're trying not to blackout… not to mention the disgusting taste of puke-and-or- blood rising in your mouth, or the fact your lungs are now an external organ on account of vomiting them up along with your heart and pancreas… and you're thinking "I wonder if there's an app available that will let me scan that bike for a hidden assist motor?" And of course you can't just pull their seatpost out for a quick confirmation because, "dude", their stealth routed dropper has a hose that is too short… Innocence is dead.