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There is a difference between something being offensive in the sense that "I am offended" and offensive in the sense of "an army going on the offensive". When we're talking about words that operate to re-inforce structural power dynamics that are literally killing people and erasing cultures we are saying something closer to the latter definition, when you don't like the word "fuck" because it upsets your delicate sensibilities you are talking about something closer to the former.
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