#!markdown
Look, it's not that I don't appreciate your advice… It's just that I've
ascended to a higher plain of understanding and until you get here it's really
difficult to have this conversation… but I'll try…
Mountain bikers, to the world at large, look like dorks. Grown adults riding
bicycles through the woods, whether wearing bright yellow or matte black,
yelling "STOKED! RAD! GNAR GNAR!": Losers.
We keep trying (the fact we have to try being the obvious problem) to be cool
like BMX, Skateboarding, or Moto: we made superfluous helmet visors and
aerodynamically inferior baggy clothes mandatory for DH Racing, we buy $120
T-shirts with bright colours and cool logos, and our fashion forward legion of
Enduro-bros has us rocking hip-bags and goggles with 1/2 lids.
Now here you are attacking the lowly 3/4 short as if it's the difference
between acceptance by the uninitiated and eternity as a sport of no-f*cks-
given doers.
Your options? Hot sweaty pads that suck to pedal in; slightly less hot and
sweaty pads, that suck less to pedal in, but are at best beefed up knee
warmers offering no more abrasion protection than a breezier pair of 3/4
knicks; tree bark -- and as tempting as the bark is I'm just not that crafty.
But here's what you should REALLY be afraid of: I'm an evangelist of mountain
biking AND I've taken uniform dressing to a level Steve Jobs could have only
dreamed of… the only difference between my riding attire (any of a number of
sh*t kicked pairs of Swrve 3/4 shorts and old IceBreaker t-shirts) and what I
wear everyday is bibs or boxers.
So every time you're rolling by the coffee shop in your freshly pressed Troy
Lee kit trying to make mountain biking look cool, just remember I'm out
reinforcing the fact we're a bunch of dweebs seven days a week!
May 5, 2016, 12:35 p.m. - DrewM
#!markdown Look, it's not that I don't appreciate your advice… It's just that I've ascended to a higher plain of understanding and until you get here it's really difficult to have this conversation… but I'll try… Mountain bikers, to the world at large, look like dorks. Grown adults riding bicycles through the woods, whether wearing bright yellow or matte black, yelling "STOKED! RAD! GNAR GNAR!": Losers. We keep trying (the fact we have to try being the obvious problem) to be cool like BMX, Skateboarding, or Moto: we made superfluous helmet visors and aerodynamically inferior baggy clothes mandatory for DH Racing, we buy $120 T-shirts with bright colours and cool logos, and our fashion forward legion of Enduro-bros has us rocking hip-bags and goggles with 1/2 lids. Now here you are attacking the lowly 3/4 short as if it's the difference between acceptance by the uninitiated and eternity as a sport of no-f*cks- given doers. Your options? Hot sweaty pads that suck to pedal in; slightly less hot and sweaty pads, that suck less to pedal in, but are at best beefed up knee warmers offering no more abrasion protection than a breezier pair of 3/4 knicks; tree bark -- and as tempting as the bark is I'm just not that crafty. But here's what you should REALLY be afraid of: I'm an evangelist of mountain biking AND I've taken uniform dressing to a level Steve Jobs could have only dreamed of… the only difference between my riding attire (any of a number of sh*t kicked pairs of Swrve 3/4 shorts and old IceBreaker t-shirts) and what I wear everyday is bibs or boxers. So every time you're rolling by the coffee shop in your freshly pressed Troy Lee kit trying to make mountain biking look cool, just remember I'm out reinforcing the fact we're a bunch of dweebs seven days a week!