EDITORIAL
Training For Wont
Accustomed Capability
I'm waiting for the wall of doubt to hit so I can try and pedal over it, but there's no crux-move required. Just my body and mind working together to ride two wheels a few feet off the ground on a curving plank that's about two tires wide. My right foot naturally ratchets back a few degrees and then calmly creates just enough momentum to drive me forward into the first steeper roll of the wooden feature. Roll, ratchet, roll, ratchet, over a teeter-totter, tight right turn, tight left turn, across a progressively narrowing fallen tree, right turn down a ladder and I'm out.
I feel so weird, and so happy. So happy. It's become unnatural to feel so natural on my mountain bikes. Even on trails I know and love and have ridden hundreds of times on a plethora of different rigs. But in that moment, I'm a John Wick meme. "People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer, but yeah, I'm thinking I'm back."
September 21st, 2022 was my first proper ride on North Shore black-level trails since my injury eight months earlier. I am terrified in this picture. Photo: JacAttack
Almost six months later I feel like I'm riding with a wonted level of confidence. Based on my finger-count, that's fourteen months taken to return to a physical and psychological normal. Photo: JacAttack
I ruptured my right Achilles over a year ago now, at the end of January, 22. Through great medical care, advice, and rehab, I was back doing light mountain biking with my kid almost exactly six months later. A couple months after that I was riding regularly again on an increasingly aggressive selection of trails. I started hitting more and more features, and moving faster, but every ride was an internal struggle. I lacked fitness, power, and confidence. Riding, exercises from my physio, hiking, and more riding where my plan to take care of the first two issues. I figured, rightly, once I felt normal on the bike the confidence would come back too.
Then in December, commuting home on my bike, stopped at a red light a block from my apartment, I was hit from behind by a car. I had a scan at the hospital, a very sore right side, an amazing bruise on my left ass cheek where the nose of my saddle turned the cars momentum into mine, and a f***ing sore back. More physio, less riding, more stretching, less hiking, and a swift and admittedly sorrowful rollback of riding ability. Ugh.
Whether built as a regular-ish Rift Zone or more recently as project Darkzone, my '23 Rifty is a bike that was never supposed to be, in a year that I planned to only own and mainly ride hardtails.
The 125mm of rear suspension made a huge difference to the frequency and length of rides I could go on while still allowing me to ride the bike in a very out-of-the-saddle, hardtail like manner.
Plans On Plans
Plans giveth and plans taketh away. Based on the advice of my physiotherapist Dorothy, I booked my family a second annual summer trip to Cumberland while I was still powering around in a Walking Boot trying to keep some fitness up. I'm not certain if it's imaginary or real but I'd swear, every time I pull gloves on, that my hands are still thicker from all the miles swinging crutches.
My goal, my plan, was to ride Cumberland with my wife and kid in August. My stretch goal was to do it on my single-speed. Having those targets helped me focus on getting better and getting back. I still have a pencil leg and both my ankle and now my back are tighter than a jar of homemade pickles when I get up in the morning, but I'm stretching it all out and feeling stronger on the bike. I put it down to my positive progression.
I'm looking forward to more of this in 2023. There are some impressively equipped, fun looking, rigs around the 2000 CAD mark.
Good geometry is free and between that, a solid spec, and the sweet finish the Roscoe 7 is ready to ride now and worth of upgrades later.
My plans for NSMB content where basically thrown into the sea with my Achilles injury. I was intent on focussing on the best of budget hardtails in 2022. Bikes like Trek's, now sub 2K, Roscoe 7. It was also setting up to be the first year in many years that I didn't own a full suspension bike. I wasn't even certain when next I'd ride a sag wagon between a review focus on budget-friendlier rigs, my Waltworks V2, and a fresh hardtail frame to mule for component testing.
My 125mm-travel Rift Zone ended up being the perfect blend. There is enough travel to reduce the fatigue through my stick-leg, tendon, ankle, and very weak foot muscles, that I could get out and ride decently long and hard. It's firm enough to pedal out of the saddle and more generally ride like a hardtail, which is exactly what I was looking for through my rehab.
No Trunnion-mount, balanced geometry, good suspension performance, a threaded bottom bracket and the 44/56 headtube makes for the easy addition of an angle adjusting headset. I think the only negative thing I'd say about the aluminum Rifty is that it isn't available to anyone and everyone as an affordable frame-only option, which I was asked about more than a couple times. I should say thanks to the folks at Marin for helping me out in that regard.
Speaking of will power, as I work to write this I could be building up my fresh mule instead! I'm retiring the Darkzone, at least for a while, to chase my long travel hardtail dreams.
Yeah it's not another rigid bike, although I've really been enjoying that lately as well. It's crazy how much a suspension fork helped with fatigue in my legs when I was weak.
Training For Wont
It's felt like a long journey and a lot of work to get back to almost-normal but I'm also grateful to be here. I want to send positive energy out to folks journeying on longer roads to recovery from worse incidents or just starting on a similar path to my own. I know it can be draining when you're training for wont. Like investing to service your bike's suspension, you don't end up with anything new but hopefully the performance increase is massive.
At this point in my recovery I compare the rate of improvement to spending money saving grams off a bike one titanium bolt at a time. The rate of change for the amount of input is glacial and upticks in performance are measured in weeks not in rides.
I credit getting in some lower-impact gravel miles with building that base fitness. Even if it's chasing my friend Model-T to the pub and home again.
Taking my own advice. If we can't ride from home to my kid's school, why not drive part way and ride from somewhere?
In the comments on an article some days ago, Karl asked if I was injured again because a fair amount of content I'd written had gone live in a short amount of time. Thankfully, no. It was just a combination of coincidence, embargoes being lifted, and having some extra time thanks to my kid's school being on spring break. I do appreciate folks checking in though!
I'm rapping on wood as I say this, but I'm planning on riding through 2023 without a significant injury and I think I'm mentally prepared to deal with the risks of playing mountain bicycles in the forest.
Comments
Vik Banerjee
1 year ago
I'm stoked your feeling back on top of your game. Here's to an injury free 2023 for you!
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Thank you, Vik!
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cheapondirt
1 year ago
May your pickle jars, titanium bolts, and back muscles all remain unseized for the rest of 2023 and beyond.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Cheers! I spent the morning replacing a blown & seized cartridge in a tap handle in my bathroom. I'll take all the stuck pickle jars that life has to offer. Funny how everything (everything) is relative.
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Abies
1 year ago
Thanks for this article, it made me feel better about my slow recovery. I had a bad crash and fractured my shoulder about 11 months ago and even once I started riding again in December my confidence was so bad I just wasn't even enjoying it, so I took another break for a few months. A new dog meant I was getting out on lots of long walks at least! I'm finally starting to get back into it, and it turns out this pup is a really good and obedient trail dog, so it feels like the stars are aligning just right.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Cheers, Simon. It's hard, and it's especially hard being properly out of shape or when things just aren't recovering as fast as I figure they should have (mentally or physically).
Stoked on your fresh trail dog - a great motivator to get out and pedal regardless of the weather or your mental state, even when you're slow, sore, or sleepy.
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JT
1 year ago
Bodies heal faster than minds do. At least that's what I've deduced. The first ride back where trepidation and self-doubt are finally gone is the best, best feeling. Not ending a roll feeling and thinking that you left a lot on the table that your earlier you would have slayed is perhaps the zennest of the zens. Unadulterated contentment. Welcome back, and may you not have to go back to that head and body space for years and years.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
The first stunt was a bizarre moment because I rolled out totally chill - it was a non thing.
Then I’m stood there realizing that it was non thing.
The great feeling being the absence of terror rather than any endorphin rush.
“the zennest of the zens”
Precisely.
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Skooks
1 year ago
That is so true JT. I broke my ankle last July, and while my fitness is (mostly) back, I still have a ways to go with my confidence. On the plus side I did build up a new bike, which I am really enjoying riding even if I am skipping features that I used to hit.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Was there a lot of damage aside from the bone with your ankle? It seems that some folks heal them quick and other folks it's more like coming back from something like my Achilles rupture due to soft tissue damage.
Is the new bike similar to the old bike in terms of use case?
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Skooks
1 year ago
I actually thought I had ruptured my Achilles when I heard it snap, but luckily it was *just" a fractured Fibula. Back on the bike in a couple of months, but took much longer to get any sort of fitness back. I'm still struggling a bit with the mental game. New bike (Fugitive 138) is very similar to the old one (Fugitive LT) but in a smaller frame size. It's more nimble and poppy but less stable at speed and I am having a lot of fun figuring it out.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
*just* - the relativism around discussing injuries is always interesting.
Interesting about sizing. I’m often right on the cusp between a large or a medium and it’s often hard to pick. I used to default to longer (closer to my Walt fit) but now I spend a bit of time agonizing over it first.
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Skooks
1 year ago
Yeah I am usually between a small and medium frame. I could ride either and I always have a hard time deciding which way to go. I really like the playfulness and agility of the small but I do need to get used to the reduced stability. I keep wondering if a slightly longer chainstay would improve things. Not an option on this bike but an interesting thought experiment.
Andrew Major
1 year ago
@Skooks, I’m going through the same thought process - though it’s early days - with my new mule. I went with the smaller option even though I’m in the grey area of the geo chart and I’m positive another centimetre or maybe 1.5cm of rear center would perfect the stability with my bar at the height I want it for steep and janky descents. Fun to play with though.
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It’s funny, the original Knolly bikes (V-Tack, Delirium-T) had very good 3-bolt sliding dropouts. I had many friends & customers with those bikes that used both settings, adjusting between DH terrain and tighter trails.
UFO
1 year ago
This is a very timely article Andrew, thanks
I've had a series of fairly serious (for me) injuries and events and it has been a struggle to get back to form. Summer 2019 aggravated a previously separated shoulder crashing at WBP, took a few months away. Winter 2019 slipped off a feature and landed my back on a section of roots, out for another few months. Then through early Covid, real riding was on hiatus due to my work within the healthcare system. Fast forward to 2022 when I was finally ready to re-start, I broke my ankle in the summer which was not diagnosed or treated properly, so I'm only now trying again.
My ankle is still not great, and my biggest fear is an ill timed dab will set me back again or worse. But more than anything it's that nagging thought always in my head, any slightly moist roll down or patches of soil that look loose, my risk assessment immediately fires through the various outcomes and obviously takes away from my capacity to focus on the trail and making it. Maybe part of it too is getting older, knowing even minor injuries take a cumulative toll on the body now as opposed to 10 years ago.
Alls to say it's a work in progress, I'm not even sure I'll get back to the level of riding I was at previously but I think I'm ok with that.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
The “cumulative toll” comes up a lot with riders I know who’ve modified how they play bikes in the woods. Still riding with the same crews but giving that awkward drop with a sniper landing a pass because no one wants to actively invite healing time.
Flat pedals or clipped in with the ankle and roll-ins? I can’t imagine where I’d be in my return if I hadn’t been on flats long enough to be comfortable/capable before the rupture.
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I was so lucky with my care. First my friend Gregg corrected my thinking that I just had a really bad ankle sprain and then the folks at Emergency were so on it that when I finally saw a specialist the next week he was shocked how well they sorted me out (boot, correct number of shims, good advice).
———
“I'm not even sure I'll get back to the level of riding I was at previously but I think I'm ok with that.”
Yeah, ride to enjoy today and ride tomorrow. I spent months rolling past features I’ve ridden 100x not knowing if I’d ride them again. And had to learn quickly to be okay with that. I just want to ride my mountain bike on janky trails in the forest - I’m choosing not to focus on the details beyond that.
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Skooks
1 year ago
"Yeah, ride to enjoy today and ride tomorrow. I spent months rolling past features I’ve ridden 100x not knowing if I’d ride them again. And had to learn quickly to be okay with that. I just want to ride my mountain bike on janky trails in the forest - I’m choosing not to focus on the details beyond that."
Well said Andrew. That's pretty much where I am at right now
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Lynx .
1 year ago
"Having" to move to flats and having moved to clipless within the first year of my starting to MTB, has definitely been one of the hardest thing, never did learn all those proper techniques and how to keep the feet on the pedals on the fast, rough stuff.
Definitely has been a bit of recalibration for me as well, although a month or so ago the guys came to do the weekday night ride up my side and I led, ended up heading down one of our most tech, rocky DHs and it was wet and everyone else walked pretty much the entire trail, whereas I, rode about 90% of it, despite how wet and slippery it was and the 7 years old Aggressor/DHF 3C tyres I had on and let me tell you, it felt damn good. I figured that I'd led them in to the trail and it would actually be harder for me to walk it than ride and when I rode a sections that's sometimes a question if wet, I knew I hadn't lost the skill, just the ability to move "fast" in moving my weight about on the bike because I just can't put the weight on the knee and sink into it.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
I tell folks coming from clips that it took 3-months of solid flat pedal use to achieve competence and a full year before it felt normal. In hindsight, it’s an investment that paid off in rehabbing my Achilles, though that wasn’t a motivator in making the shift.
Would have been damn hard to learn flats and rehab at the same time!
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UFO
1 year ago
I've been in/still ride clips, my fear isn't staying clipped in or not being able to get out in time. It's more that when I go to physically touch my foot down on the injured side, there remains discomfort. Add to the unpredictability of the terrain just has me thinking how easy it would be to go over too far on it and re-injure
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Lynx .
1 year ago
Hey Andrew, I know recently we may have had some differences of opinion, but as someone who's still suffering through an injury 3 years later, but now starting to get back into some proper riding, mainly because the fitness I'd built over all those years was finally running out, welcome back, it must feel amazing.
I'm not even close to back to normal, don't think I ever will be unless I win the lottery and can afford another surgery to try and fix the fracture I had before the broken in 1/2 knee cap, that never healed, but the motivation is there to try and get the strength back up in the knee so I can enjoy riding the stuff I like more. Fact of the matter is, unlike you, I was not a real good boy with exercises, between covid and the inability to work, yet still someone how manage to find $$ to pay the standard bills along with food for my 11 rescue pups, I was way down mentally and thought just getting back on the bike and doing every day stuff would do the trick, but I was wrong and knew it internally already, but just didn't have it in me to do the right thing in that regard for myself.
My confidence is back pretty decent, but worse than before is the realization that I can't affords to get injured, after one incident on my first ride back with "the guys" and being egged down a way too loose shoot, way too fast and having to hug a tree, I'm well aware that I have no insurance and work is abysmal, so I cannot afford to be injured, not in the least, so all that new stuff that's been added to our DB trails, like the 85 degree, 15ft long rock roll into then 15ft of loose dirt at a little less angle, to a hard left or go in a ravine, will have to wait.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
No stress, it would be a boring place if everyone agreed all the time. And, cheers!
While acknowledging my privilege of being to afford to see a physio, the big thing for me was finding someone who would manage my return to sport knowing that I was always ready to push through discomfort. All I had to do was communicate and follow her advice.
My kid and her friends were my only riding buddies the first while specifically for the reason you noted.
I hope you see some healing process this year. That’s a long stretch.
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Kerry Williams
1 year ago
All this wisdom comes with age for most of us I think. The pull to progress is so strong amongst most mtb'ers that most of us end up with a littany of injuries. For myself, I've had my share of injuries, and the last two were more recent and in my 50's. It fully made me reconsider everything about why I ride mtb. If the rush of drops and jumps and trying to go faster are no longer part of the equation, what's left? My family no longer wants to help pull my weight at home because I selfishly wanted to send something and wrecked, and I no longer need to go through prolonged healing processes. So, last year was a big mental change and it took me quite a lot of refocusing because most of my riding friends viewed me one way, and I was now trying to be something else. It's an emotional and mental quagmire, but thankfully this sport still has a place for me and I love just getting out there and riding to some spectacular views, and going at a more measured pace down some truly fun and technical trails. Love this sport, and the people we share it with.
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UFO
1 year ago
I'm in the fortunate life stage of introducing my kids to trail riding, so I get huge satisfaction out of even a 30 minute easy loop.
The trouble for me has been coming up to trails and features that I'd used to ride without a second thought not that long ago, and inching down them like my first Shore ride experience 30 years ago which I still vividly remember. It is definitely a mental recalibration.
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Kos
1 year ago
Welcome back! It sounds like you've been enjoying the ride back up the curve of fitness, ability, and confidence. Bam!
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Thank you. I’m very much enjoying feeling more like normal.
I’ve talked to a few old riding friends lately who are so out of riding shape it’s actually become the main detriment to even trying to get back to some level of conditioning. I thought it may be useful to layout the process I went through for encouragement.
It seems huge, but they’ll get there if they stay positive and put the time in.
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ackshunW
1 year ago
Congrats, great to hear you’re back on a good path!
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John Keiffer
1 year ago
Congrats. Glad to hear you can get out for some fun rides and feeling close to normal again. That was a long haul to full recovery, time to enjoy some dirt and trees.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Thank you. I know plenty of folks who've had much worse injuries and much longer recoveries, but I figured maybe someone needs to hear it's okay that it's taking way longer than expected to get better/right.
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Velocipedestrian
1 year ago
I need to keep hearing it.
I had a much lesser ankle injury around the same time as you, and combined with the litany of 'minor' damages over the last 4-5 years I've been wondering if I'll ever get to "People keep asking if I'm back and I haven't really had an answer, but yeah, I'm thinking I'm back."
These pieces help me to keep working at it.
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Karl Fitzpatrick
1 year ago
This may not be a strictly helpful comment but looking on the bright side of (recoverable) injury, it's so nice to feel like you even CAN improve what with all stagnation one can feel with the other life stuff that needs to be ticked off before you can prioritise The Things You'd Rather Be Doing.
Glad you're feeling (and FEELING) better Andrew.
Winter is coming in our neck of the woods so I'm keen to work on my bike handling with some old man street sessions and much needed trail maintenance at my local...
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Cheers Karl,
One of my secrets is certainly scoring those parent-miles. It started as pulling my daughter in a trailer so she'd take a nap and it's evolved into afterschool mountain biking a couple or few times a week. I'll procrastinate on anything to spend time with my kid, so if it's time riding that's a double-win!
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Karl Fitzpatrick
1 year ago
Totally! Afternoons before or after dinner around the neighbourhood and the nearest reserve (crunchies!) with my 5 and 7 years olds is great points scoring but also genuinely good times seeing my groms goofing around and trying new things (standing up, skids, feet off the pedals, riding reeeeeally slowly etc.) that gets them stoked.
Being a (moderately chill, not at all pushy) bike dad is awesome!
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Hahahaha. You mean you don’t tell your kid to “sack up” and roll stuff on his basic hardtail that you barely survived on your f***ing MEGAtower?!
Parents sometimes have a pretty amazing way of ruining things they love for their children.
Can you ride bikes through the winter or is it proper snow sports for the kids?
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Karl Fitzpatrick
1 year ago
I marshaled the last section of Karapoti years ago and remember seeing a teenage son in tears riding ahead of his dad who was shouting at him to keep going. This one observation (among a few less overt ones) was enough to influence my approach to how i get my kids out...
We can ride all year down this way. Wellington is pretty lucky with relatively mild but dark winters and fairly unpredictably stormy shoulder seasons.
Dark evenings just mean the kids get lights for our neighbourhood jaunts that just means it's more of an adventure which gets them stoked!
They're both old enough now that I'm looking forward to taking dinner with us to our local trails and having some fun on the ones nearest the car park before bath times.
I've convinced them it makes the hot chocolate and warm shower feel amazing haha.
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Andrew Major
1 year ago
Nice! The Clairebarian loves night riding, so we're covered in the dark months.
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