Sit Down, Be Humble

The following is going to be me talking angrily about a lot of shitty things. It’s not going to primarily be about mountain bikes (which, thankfully, are not shitty things), but I promise I’ll bring it back around.

I can’t speak for all women. I can only speak for myself, but I’m going to guess there are a lot of women who are just really tired of existing in a world that treats them as something... less. The disrespect, negligence, side eye, rude, and demeaning behavior that women are subjected to isn’t always as obvious as the crap that one You-Know-Who slopestyle guy posted last week. That was stupid - full stop. I don’t want to give any more attention to him. His sponsors are taking appropriate action.

Instead, I want to call attention to EVERYTHING else that happens. All day, every day, in front of your eyes and ears, on bikes and off. You may not consider it misogynistic because it’s always been this way (and face it, most of you reading this are men, so you probably don't see it, not the way I do), but just because something has been a certain way for a very long time doesn’t mean it’s right.

I know the fellas of NSMB are standing aside and wondering how to approach topics like this, and to their credit, they’re trying. They listen. They ask questions, and when they get caught accidentally mansplaining they shut the fuck up and try to correct. There are lots of guys out there “trying,” but what does trying look like? It depends on who you ask. For me, “trying” is co-existing with me as any normal friend or stranger and doing so without assumption. It's asking how certain things make me feel or affect me instead of assuming you know my inner workings. It’s listening. It’s showing up for other women without being asked. It’s calling out other dudes on their everyday bullshit misogynistic behavior because it feels normal for you to do so. It’s not making women feel uncomfortable when it’s just you and them in a room/on a trail/on a sidewalk. It’s wanting to ride with women because we’re all here to have fun instead of assuming we’re not strong or fast enough to keep up with you. It’s understanding that women are different than men and no one should tell us how to deal with our shit. Our shit is ours to figure out. It’s supporting and uplifting women. It’s taking a bit of time for introspection and realizing that there’s a chance you might have been shitty to women at some point, accepting it, and trying to be a better version of yourself going forward.

“Trying” is not taking up all the space in a room. I’ll never forget a conversation I had with a college friend some 20-odd years ago who told me about an evening she had at a bar on a date. She was describing the man she’d just met and the alarming amount of physical space he occupied—not because he was a big dude, but because he loomed over her. He sprawled out on the bar stool and spread out his limbs. She felt like she had nowhere to go. Body language speaks volumes, and I’m pretty sure half of you have no idea just how much physical space you take up in a room. In the words of Kendrick and Micayla, sit down, and be humble. Think about it. Men have been using their physical size to intimidate women and shape the world - whether they realize it or not - since the dawn of time. The world is man-sized. Cars are man-sized. Bar stools, kitchen cabinets, and chairs-man sized. Bikes? You better freaking believe it. (If you had a dollar for every time I complained about that).

Sigh. Meanwhile, half the freaking population of this planet are women - women who’ve been told by society that we shouldn’t take up space. That we should be skinny. That we should wear make-up. That we should be quiet. That if you shrink it and pink it, we’ll like it. That we aren’t important enough for appropriately sized bikes and gear. That if we show outward confidence, then we are for sure slutty. That somehow being slutty is worth shaming. (News flash, that’s none of your fucking business.) You know that stupid meme circulating this summer about being “very demure”? It made me want to rip a hole in the space-time continuum and crawl into that hole and die. I hate that word because, for so long, women have been told to be demure. Pardon me while I play metal on high to work out some of my rage. Did you know that women weren’t legally able to open their own bank accounts in the US until the 1960s? And did you know it was LEGAL to discriminate against them for doing so until 1974? Nuts. I want to sit here and expound on how insane it is that women weren’t *allowed* legal access to birth control until 1965. Perhaps you’ve seen Dirty Dancing and the coat hanger scene. That’s pretty scary stuff. What’s even scarier is that it doesn’t feel like that kind of thing is crazy anymore. Women and their bodily autonomy are still being decided by men.

One of my closest friends is a total badass. She’s an ER doctor, an absurdly talented rock climber, and she’s a hell of a mountain biker who can ride circles around many guys out there. She’s told me about the layers of sexism that exist in climbing. For her, it got so bad that she walked away from the sport for a while. I follow a ton of female climbers on the ol’ socials and I’m baffled by the comments that men leave. “Should you be doing that while you’re pregnant?” “Are you certified to lead a group up that route?” This is being said to professional rock climbers. My same badass doctor friend regales me almost weekly with tales of the misogyny she experiences in the ER. On a very regular basis as she’s treating patients they’ll ask when the doctor will be in to see them. “I am the doctor,” she replies. They stare at her like she’s an alien, not a doctor. She’s an ex-Division-1 volleyball player, who has two younger brothers and a dad who are all NFL-sized jocks with attitude. She has had to physically and emotionally overcome their dudetude for over 40 years and now has to semi-politely explain that yes, in fact, she is the doctor, and she fucking earned that title.

Let’s bring this back to bikes. As a freelancer I filmed with and wrote about many elite athletes including World Cup and Rampage riders. On two occasions I was assaulted by riders I’d worked with—one while on a shoot, and one at a film premiere. I never went public about either occurrence because when you want to work in an industry where boys rule, being the girl that rats out ultra-successful riders gets you nothing besides being labeled as a narc. I feared that it would hinder me getting more work, so I stayed silent. It just raged quietly inside me while I watched them have successful careers and become the heroes of many. The worst part? I know so many other women who have had experiences like this with top-level riders. I hate that the fear of coming forward still exists. The system is so broken.

I’ve been fortunate to work for a few great bike companies. However, at one I endured so much sexist BS, that in hindsight I can’t believe no one ever got fired. Accountability wasn’t a priority. I’ll spare you the full laundry list, but a particular standout moment was when I was called a “sex kitten” at a company barbeque in front of a lot of other staff (and leadership) by someone who’d worked there for decades. Several of my female coworkers experienced similar treatment and eventually moved on to greener pastures—including one who now can fire team athletes who don’t live up to moral standards. Karma can be a real thorn in your side. Ask Mr. Testa.

When I sit back and think about all of the negative commentary that women have endured, the skepticism of whether or not we’re good enough, and the omnipresent misogynistic behavior that’s happening right in front of your face, I can’t help but come back to the commentary that was stirred up by women getting into Rampage. “Women aren’t tough enough.” “They’re going to be so boring to watch. They can’t do what the men do.” “If everyone is created equal, put them in the same competition. There’s no way they’d even qualify.” I’m sorry, what’s that? I couldn’t hear you over the whizzz of Chelsea Kimball’s tires as she SENT that insane drop, or against the wind in my ears while Robin Goomes threw multiple backflips on her run. Women aren’t ready? Get the fuck out of here.

Women came, saw, and kicked ass, and they did it because they have been READY to do this for a long, long time. Women have never been weak or scared. We’ve just had to claw our way up to be seen and - annoyingly, again and again and again - convince the people in power (usually men) to make some freaking space for us. Look, we don’t want what’s yours. We want to kick ass at what’s ours. Women’s Rampage was exciting. It was eye-opening. It’s the next chapter in this movement that has been pushed uphill by a strong group of pioneers who’ve been steadfast in their goals of making mountain biking a space where women aren’t second-tier. We're better than that. We deserve more than that. We want nice gear too. We want to ride with everyone, and some of us want to ride hard and fast and scare the living daylights out of ourselves. We’re a lot like you. We just want to ride our fucking bikes without judgment. And we are sick, so sick, of being judged.

If I sound angry, that’s because I am. I’m sitting here on the eve of a complete dumpster fire of an election in the United States where one of the candidates is literally a convicted felon, has sexually assaulted women, openly fires off racist commentary like it’s just a casual “hello,” and tells bold-faced lies all day long. I have zero tolerance for any human who behaves this way and the fact that about half the country accepts his behavior just shows you how prevalent misogyny is today. But half the country apparently is okay with that. And that makes me feel heartbroken and sick to my stomach. And by the time you read this, that felon will either have been elected president, again, or there will be a woman of color elected. I do not need to tell you how I am voting. I do not need to hear your justifications for how you voted, any more than I need to hear you telling me that I ride pretty good for a girl.

But NSMB isn’t a political site, and you probably didn’t come here to read about politics. So, instead, I’m going to bring it back to bikes (and women!) again. We have reached the tipping point in our sport. Women are here and we are going to keep showing up. We are going to cheer each other on and celebrate how far we have come, with the wind and the deck stacked against us. And we will probably cheer you on too, because we like to support everyone. We’re going to keep digging, riding harder, and pushing the envelope. You’re going to see more and more projects with women as the main characters because we deserve to be here. We should not have needed to earn it, but we did anyway. We exist in the same space as you, so start acting like it.

<rant over>