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EDITORIAL

Micro-Categorize Your Mountain Bicycle

Words Andrew Major
Date Jan 5, 2022
Reading time

Collect Them All

Come one, come all! Welcome to the post-postmodern mountain bike categorization extravaganza! Where World Cup Freeracing rigs and All Cross Funduro machines contest exactly the same terrain and you absolutely need to own at least one example of each. Throw away your taste for blended bicycles and that salty skepticism of categorization. The 'mountain bike' is dead. Celebrate the definitive differences between every few millimeters of travel from a Transition Spur to a Banshee Legend and every machine in between. Yes, even once they're all sporting the same coil suspension, 2800 grams of tires, 220mm rotors, 200mm dropper posts, and 10-52 cassettes.

Hear your own voice echoing between your ears saying "N+2, N+2, N+2." Here 'N' is the number of bikes you currently own and '+2' is the similarly awesome but awesomely dissimilar Enduro bikes you absolutely need to buy next. One rig is a simply magical high pivot bounty of bolts with a whole range of washers, all the pivots, and an idler pulley. The other presents a real twist, a magically simple single pivot that supplies the same suspension performance with two bearings instead of nineteen. I hear you murmuring that materials matter so of course add a 'C', 'Al', 'Ti', or 'St' to any category for further clarification.

*Cover Photo: AJ Barlas

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Is it Trail Heavy or is it Enduro Light? It has EXO tires and a reservoir shock, so neither. It's clearly an All-Mountain ride. But absolutely not All Mountain SL because zero dollars have been spent shaving grams. Photo: AJ Barlas

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Is it a Tallboy with a lowered Lyrik? A short-forked and under-shoed MegaTower? A #AllBikesAreGravelBikes Bronson with 700c tires wedged in and a short travel dropper post? Who can even tell anymore? Photo: AJ Barlas

There's Cross Country, Front Country, Back Country, Slack Country, All Country, Down Country, New Country, Shore Country, No Country For Old Men (they’re all switching to e~bikes if they can afford them anyway). Plus, let's not forget Bro-Country, which is just Shore Country with mandatory pants and inserts installed in your tires. And that's just covering off categorizing any mountain bicycle with 100-120mm of travel that is uphill pedaling positive. There are also Slope Bikes, Slalom Bikes, 4x Bikes, Micro-DH bikes, full-suspension Jump Bikes, full-suspension Pump Bikes, and Short-Shocked Lowrider Retired Downhill Race Bikes within the same twenty millimeters.

Super-D was a mid-travel category and then all the races were won by Cross Country pros on their XCO bikes so it was killed off rather than making things confusing. For those that don't know, XCO bikes are simply pro-class XC Race bikes with an epiphany at the end as in "Ohhhhhh, this modern non-road-bike geometry doesn't suck!" Actually, some folks claim the 'O' is for orgasm as in "Oh! Oh, my! This new non-road-bike geometry is sensually satisfying!" But, that might be going a touch too far.

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Thank goodness that most companies don't make their DH Race or DH Park bikes dropper-post compatible. It would really confuse things with the Freeduro, Freeride SL, Flowride, Freeride, FroRide, Freeride HD, and Freeride DH bike categories. Photo: Deniz Merdano

Add a touch more fork travel and find yourself where the Spurduro meets the Fall-line Boy. It's Nearly-All Mountain riding on a machine that could still be handy around a race track with a bit of a diet and a pair of semi-slicks installed. It's a whole blurry blend of I-don't-understand-why-you'd-want-a-short-travel-bike-that-weighs-as-much-as-my-Enduro-bike-so-I-think-it's-stupid categories, but sometimes when deciding between a longer and shorter travel bike with exactly the same frame that you're going to build up exactly the same way, you just have to trust your instincts even if you're dropping in from higher altitudes.

If anything, mid-travel bikes ranging from Trail-Lite to Shore-Mountain should have the most room for further classification, especially since they represent the bulk of battery-free bicycles sold in any recent year. The challenge is, of course, that without any event, the Trail Bike and All-Mountain categories are a bit nebulous. These bicycles simply don't have a directly correlatable world-level competition usage from which to build out a marketing campaign. Whether they're XC-Trail, Enduro-Trail, DH-Trail, or Trail-Trail, the secret is to tie their DNA to event-winning bicycles on either end of the travel range. In a pinch, the true All-Marketing apparatus can stump for the most epic XC race crusher and jump like a full-on Enduro race rig.

2017 Santa Cruz Chameleon

Of course, a hardtail, even a true chameleon, isn't just a hardtail, sorry. Take the full breakdown of full suspension bikes and add single speeding along with fifteen different categories of bike packing depending on distance, duration, and difficulty. Photo: Dave Smith

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The secret of marketing a mid-travel trail bike in any micro-category is the process of tying it to your top-performing shorter and longer travel racing bikes. "Hey, hey! Our similar-looking bikes have won numerous events." Photo: Dave Smith

You can try to resist. You can declare something like 'my rig is just a DH Bike' but your post-postmodern mountain biking friends won't buy that indefinite indexing. They need to know, is it a nano-DH, micro-DH, mini-DH, DH-Park, Downhill, or Downhill Race rig? You simply can't escape the clear-but-complex future of mountain bike micro-categorization by hiding in the amorphous past. Not even riding a rigid fork will save you.

So embrace the over-labeling. Adopt a truly localized classification. Maybe your bike is a Fiver-Prizer, Fiver-Thriver, or Fiver-Survivor. It could be a Thirsty Beaver Beater, a Resurrection Ripper, or a Severed Dick Slayer and I'm certain Trailforks can help you from there. Your own bike might be a bit of a blur now that you've adopted it for the local element so if you're in doubt just pick the nearest category that makes sense and add a giant 'X' onto the end of it.

So, let's hear it. What type of bike(s) are you riding?

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Comments

cooperquinn
+9 Andrew Major Cr4w boomforeal kcy4130 Todd Hellinga Sandy James Oates Natecher lewis collins Andy Eunson
Cooper Quinn  - Jan. 4, 2022, 9:39 p.m.

What's wrong with "mountain bike"?

Reply

andy-eunson
+3 Andrew Major mrbrett Jimothy.benson
Andy Eunson  - Jan. 4, 2022, 9:50 p.m.

Well. Some folks back in the day wanted to call them all terrain bikes in deference to those who might live in a place like Ontario or maybe North Dakota where there are on mountains. Wouldn’t want to offend flatlanders  and people from the centre of the universe.

Reply

AndrewMajor
+1 taprider
Andrew Major  - Jan. 4, 2022, 9:53 p.m.

Yeah, that worked out great for big-green-square-GAP-logo-rip-off-MEC too... who didn't realize (very sadly for some, I'm sure) that they were in better (upper management) hands the second they saw the mountains come back?

Reply

taprider
+1 Andrew Major
taprider  - Jan. 4, 2022, 11:05 p.m.

yeah, I noticed that MEP GAC logo without the mtns too

Have the mountains come back?

Reply

AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 4, 2022, 11:18 p.m.

Yes, one of the first moves the new 'Mountain Equipment Company' did was bring back the old logo. No more GAP.

Reply

craw
+2 Andrew Major mrbrett
Cr4w  - Jan. 5, 2022, 6:48 a.m.

It was also the nail in the coffin for a lot of people who didn't dig how they chose to openly run with their new corporate vibe. Adding the mountain back into their logo isn't fooling anyone.

edit: they didn't need to go fully corporate to resolve their structural management issues. They did have a long history of listening to the wrong people so I guess they're stayed true to that part.

edit 2: many of us are heartbroken at the loss of this iconic organization that was central to so many trips and adventures. The place you stop in for any last minute X or Y for your next outing. I straight up refuse to shop at the new thing.

AndrewMajor
+1 Cr4w
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:08 a.m.

It’s weird. No argument the way the take over happened was dirty pool. 

I think anyone who worked there, myself included, knows some awesome people who don’t have jobs there anymore. Some of whom got f***ed.

But, it was also a top heavy, poorly run, bloated sh*t show by people’s accounts who are/were behind the curtain.

I just think the logo is an example of actually listening to customers (“members”). It was only pride that kept them from stepping back from the GAP logo after the initial release /reaction to begin with.

AndrewMajor
+1 Cr4w
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:13 a.m.

I don’t shop there much - not that I shop anywhere much, or did before - but I’d be surprised if, for example, anyone who has worked retail who shopped in the North Van store before/after wouldn’t have to admit on entry that it is significantly better arranged now. So much so, that I think - preferred business model, personal nostalgia, and take over aside - it’s impossible to contend the business isn’t being better managed.

[That’s absolutely no fault of anyone who worked in/managed the store. Those weren’t store-level decisions. North Van had some amazing people working there]

They have made significantly better use of natural light. The layout is better, cleaner, simpler. Everything is easier to find - and that’s from someone who knew the store pretty well having spent a fair few nights restocking it.

taprider
+1 Cr4w
taprider  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:51 a.m.

I see it is no longer the "Co-op"

AndrewMajor
+1 Cr4w
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:55 a.m.

No. The elected board gave the business assets and branding to a private investment company. 

Surprised you hadn’t heard that? I feel like it was sorta a big deal? A quick Google will catch you up.

taprider
0
taprider  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:05 p.m.

Old GAP signage still up all around the North Van store

Reply

fartymarty
+2 Geof Harries Zero-cool
fartymarty  - Jan. 4, 2022, 11:26 p.m.

VTT works for me.

Reply

AndrewMajor
+1 kcy4130
Andrew Major  - Jan. 4, 2022, 11:33 p.m.

Velo Tout Terrain?!

I have to opine that ATB - ‘All Terrain Bike’ - is one of the worst, if not the worst, names for the mountain bicycle.

Reply

fartymarty
+4 Andrew Major Todd Hellinga lewis collins Tremeer023
fartymarty  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:31 a.m.

I love ATB / VTT - it's so general and marketing defying.  It means you can ride your bike where ever your heart desires and no one can tell you otherwise.

"Mountain Bike" doesn't make sense to me as our highest local hill is only 294m high.  The tallest "mountain" (hill in reality) in the UK is only 1345m therefore Mountain Biking can't exist in the UK.  Therefore ATB / VTT makes more sense to us with vertically challenged terrain.

Reply

AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:28 a.m.

Touché!

velocipedestrian
+3 Andrew Major kcy4130 Tjaard Breeuwer
Velocipedestrian  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:09 p.m.

In central Wellington we have 'Mount' Victoria @198m, which looks like the tiny knoll it is from the top of Hawkins 'Hill' @495m.

It's only near the top of Hawkins the sub alpine plants appear. 

Perhaps Bumps + Inclines + Knolls = Extreme!

AndrewMajor
+3 Ask Petersen Velocipedestrian Tjaard Breeuwer
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:49 p.m.

Bumps + Inclines + Knolls + Extreme…

B.I.K.E… don’t think we didn’t see what you did there.

Onawalk
+2 Andrew Major kcy4130
Onawalk  - Jan. 5, 2022, 11:35 a.m.

I’m forever going to be salty with RC, and Mountain bike magazine for trying to make “black diamond” riding a thing. Why there was a need to change “freeriding” was always beyond me. (It’s a pointless and silly, but it still sits with me)

Maybe it was a copyright infringement situation, that my younger, slightly more naive self didn’t understand.

I’m cool with all the categories, etc, I’m well aware that they’re all just mountain bicycles, and conveyances for getting me out into nature, and letting go of the stress. 

Must be bewildering to get into the sport for the first time, grown adults taking playing in the woods so seriously!

Reply

AndrewMajor
+4 lewis collins kcy4130 Zero-cool Todd Hellinga
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:06 p.m.

“Must be bewildering to get into the sport for the first time, grown adults taking playing in the woods so seriously!”

Completely.

pete@nsmb.com
0
Pete Roggeman  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:41 p.m.

ATB is better than fat bike, in my opinion. I have nothing against fat bike, although it only describes the wheels and tires, whereas ATB tells you more about its ability. And, as I've argued before, ATB sounds utilitarian, and I still contend that fat bikes are primarily utilitarian machines (albeit fun ones).

Reply

AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 2:32 p.m.

I had a shop friend years ago who was railing against the name ‘Fat Bike’ after a few beers… I asked him what I’ll ask you: what would you call them?! Pretty sure the question caused his brain to overload and that’s why he passed out from standing up!

I mean, it’s a stupid name, sure, but unlike ATB where there are great alternatives I can’t think of one… and I mean, ‘Snow Bikes’ makes me think of those semi-steerable sit-skis so that’s worse certainly.

Reply

Hollytron
0
Hollytron  - Jan. 7, 2022, 10:59 a.m.

Im going to start calling them "molehill magnification machines" cuz there are always bigger mtns or gnarlier trails somewhere. MMM. Yummy.

Reply

Jimothy.benson
+2 kcy4130 Cam McRae
Jimothy.benson  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:39 a.m.

I've been using the simple term "off-road bike" because living in Winnipeg I can't honestly call it a Mountain bike. Close runner up is the term "Manitoba bike" (soooo close to mountain bike, orthographically. So not close in most other ways)

I can say this with authority because I happen to be the reigning provincial Singlespeed fatbike senior men's champion (a category that doesn't exist on paper, but I was definitely the only fool to show up on such a bike 4 years ago and place DFL in the category UCI had next to my name) but have since wizened up and gotten a Honzo, which I'm now in the process of converting to singlespeed as a winter project. Best tool for the local terrain IMHO given the contast up and down nature of trails here (rather than long mostly climb followed by long mostly descent).

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AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 10:22 a.m.

Hahahaha… that’s like the time my buddy T came first in his category at a big race… his category being single speeders over a certain age named T. 

“Manitoba Bike.” Love it.

Reply

rnayel
+1 kcy4130
RNAYEL  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:47 a.m.

All Terrain Bike is a literal translation of the French term of Vélo tout-terrain (VTT).

Reply

AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 10:20 a.m.

This comment has been removed.

enduroExpert78
+1 DanL
Rick M  - Jan. 5, 2022, 11:40 a.m.

Those who go to the end of the earth to prove their point will eventually come around.

Reply

AndrewMajor
+3 Todd Hellinga Mammal DanL
Andrew Major  - Jan. 4, 2022, 9:51 p.m.

Exactly.

(Wait... what have you done with Cooper "Shore Country" Quinn? Is he okay? Ransom demands?)

Reply

fartymarty
0
fartymarty  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:33 a.m.

This comment has been removed.

SlowAnimalsWin
+5 Kenny Deniz Merdano Mammal Rick M Andrew Major
William Swanson  - Jan. 4, 2022, 9:59 p.m.

Beer-country

Slow and light, except not that light.

Reply

AndrewMajor
+3 kcy4130 Lu Kz Rick M
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:38 a.m.

Malt-And-Biking?!

I like Beer-Country.

Reply

taprider
+3 Reed Holden Andrew Major Cr4w
taprider  - Jan. 4, 2022, 11:03 p.m.

FrommeFunduroX, but it is so specialized it won't work on Seymour, although with lycra and inserts (in the tires that is) it can sort of work on the Cypress Bowl side. However, with a complete tire and rim change, it can work on the Green Necklace (that is really a blacktop necklace).

Reply

AndrewMajor
+1 kcy4130
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:35 a.m.

Xtreme Commuter!

Reply

RAHrider
+1 Andrew Major
Reed Holden  - Jan. 4, 2022, 11:09 p.m.

I think all of my bikes would be called "shore country"? Whether a hardtail or full suspension, they all need to be capable enough to ride a north shore black but make me want to pedal it like an XC bike. I tried a process 134 and it felt sketchy on challenging chunky trails. Pedaled great, cornered great but when things got steep and gnarly, the bike turned out to be a noodle. You'd think I would keep it and take it on less technical rides but it turns out I can't get my head around riding a bike that I can't take in everything. So shore country bikes it is.

Great article. Not sure how long it took to come up with all those different classifications, but every one felt spot on describing a niche of the mtb market.

Reply

AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:33 a.m.

Cheers!

Hopefully a good mix of a bit of fun and a fun bit of a rant.

Ha. I think the term SHR CNTRY was invented just to harangue me… I like “Slack-C.”

Reply

fartymarty
+1 Andrew Major
fartymarty  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:18 a.m.

How about good old fashioned Klunker?

Reply

AndrewMajor
+1 Corinne Summers
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:30 a.m.

Easy Klunking / Klunking Ain’t Easy

.

But I mean… is that purist coaster-brake-only Klunking? Dual-Discs-Allowed-Klunking? Klunker-Aesthetic-Only Klunking?

Hahaha.

Reply

fartymarty
+4 Andrew Major kcy4130 lewis collins Karl Fitzpatrick
fartymarty  - Jan. 5, 2022, 5:46 a.m.

I have heard / read that coaster brake bikes were actually called Cruisers and Klunkers came along later.  As such I assume dual-disc-klunking is an acceptable form of klunking.  If the early Klunkers (the participants, not the bikes) had access to disc brakes they sure as hell would have fitted them to their Klunkers (the bikes, not the participants).

For me Klunking was about riding / pushing up and riding down and not taking shit too seriously - therefore we are still within the boundaries of the definition of Klunking - therefore by definition are Klunkers (the participants, not the bikes).

Klunk on my fellow Klunker.

PS - don't tell the Radavist as they'll claim Klunking as their own term.

Reply

AndrewMajor
+7 kcy4130 mrbrett Mammal fartymarty lewis collins Morgan Heater Karl Fitzpatrick
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:43 a.m.

Clearly you’re just missing another level of categorization?! Just turn up your imagination.

The Radavist-Klunking would be tied in with bike-packing, so it would be Klunk-Packing, Pack-Klunking, Klunk-With-A-Trunk.

This Safety-Klunking you’re talking about with modern brakes and probably Geo and rubber? It sounds a lot like mountain biking to me so you just need to drill down from there… Free-Klunking, Klunkduro, XKO…

Reply

fartymarty
+3 Andrew Major kcy4130 shenzhe
fartymarty  - Jan. 5, 2022, 10:21 a.m.

LOL 

PS - I'm an engineer, my imagination is limited.

Reply

fartymarty
0
fartymarty  - Jan. 13, 2022, 3:56 a.m.

momjijimike
+1 Andrew Major
momjijimike  - Jan. 5, 2022, 1:13 a.m.

Since 1990(Scott Windriver = gravel bike?) I'm a mountainbiker and today I'm still riding a mountain bike(Santa Cruz Megatower = Enduro?), life could be so easy :)

Mountains and Trails are the same, uphill is still a challenge, downhill still exciting, wet roots are still scatchy, all the same but enjoy the progress of bike technology.

>It would really confuse things with the Freeduro, Freeride SL, Flowride, Freeride, FroRide, Freeride HD, and Freeride DH bike categories
Like a lot of other things... just marketing... 

Have fun and enjoy your MTB!

Reply

eriksg
+3 Niels Andrew Major kcy4130
eriksg  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:58 p.m.

I occasionally end up in a bike shop being asked by an employee what kind of riding I do. I usually reply "I'm a mountain biker" because I ride off-road primarily.

The usual follow-up question is:  "but what kind of mountain biking?" I sense the expected answer is somewhere on the spectrum between XC and DH.

I have generally settled on "well, I ride trails, so I guess general trail riding." But I really don't know how to answer the question. If you ride recreationally and don't race, don't have a heart rate monitor or power meter, don't make Strava KOMs uphill or down, what do you say except "I'm a mountain biker!"?

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AndrewMajor
+1 DancingWithMyself
Andrew Major  - Jan. 6, 2022, 10:10 a.m.

Just make up something esoteric sounding! 

It sounds like you do a lot of recreational light-enduro riding to me.

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eriksg
0
eriksg  - Jan. 6, 2022, 9:03 p.m.

How 'bout "recreational funduro". That ought to clarify and confuse them at the same time.

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taprider
0
taprider  - Jan. 7, 2022, 11:16 a.m.

even more confusing would be "funduro racer"

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eriksg
+1 Karl Fitzpatrick
eriksg  - Jan. 8, 2022, 8:11 p.m.

I can go with funduro racer. I race myself up and down the mountain, for fun. I win about half the time ;)

Vikb
+3 Andrew Major Rick M Pete Roggeman
Vik Banerjee  - Jan. 5, 2022, 6:45 a.m.

Over the years the names people were using for the type of bike I was interested in changed even though the kind of mountain bike riding I did stayed  pretty much the same [within the limits of my local geography as I moved around Canada]. The term I liked the best was "All Mountain". It captured my desire for riding up and down the trails around me without being too focused on one part of the ride or the other. 

Since nobody uses that term anymore my second favourite choice would be "Trail Bike". It's got the same generalist flavour that All Mountain did, but it's stuck around and most people would know what you meant.

In a few years it will become necessary to say "Meat Powered Trail Bike" as people will just assume you were talking about a motor equipped "Mountain Moped" since that's what everyone was riding.

Reply

AndrewMajor
+2 Vik Banerjee Poz
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:49 a.m.

I don’t think it will be necessary to say “Meat Powered” because when you say “rigid bike” or “single speed” folks will know it hasn’t been e~’d. 

(Hahahaha)

-

I also liked the term All Mountain but admit “All Mountain Racing” doesn’t sound as cool, or specialized, as Enduro. 

Trail Bike is too generic! How will anyone know from that if you run 8” rotors and DD tires or a lighter setup up on your HighBoy?

Reply

Vikb
+6 Andrew Major Lu Kz goose8 Rick M Poz Tjaard Breeuwer
Vik Banerjee  - Jan. 5, 2022, 8:16 a.m.

I also liked the term All Mountain but admit “All Mountain Racing” doesn’t sound as cool, or specialized, as Enduro. 

All Mountain was a race-free category so you wouldn't need to combine the two terms. Makes more sense than Enduro/Enduro Racing when 95% of people buying bikes from that category will never race them...well unless you count phone social media app use as racing.

Trail Bike is too generic! How will anyone know from that if you run 8” rotors and DD tires or a lighter setup up on your HighBoy?

Same way you can figure out who is a vegan or triathlete at a house party...no worries give them 5mins and they'll tell you!

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velocipedestrian
+4 Andrew Major cheapondirt Kenny Tjaard Breeuwer
Velocipedestrian  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:17 p.m.

As a dedicated anti-racist (OK, I entered one once, and came precisely mid-pack), I approve of this distinction for All-Mountain, though in the spirit of accuracy we may have to introduce Most-Mountain.

Reply

Tjaardbreeuwer
+1 Andrew Major
Tjaard Breeuwer  - Jan. 9, 2022, 7:57 p.m.

I tried clicking “like” twice, for each those statements, but ended up back at where I started.

Well done!

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Poz
0
Poz  - Jan. 8, 2022, 3:59 p.m.

Totally agree on all-mountain. It’s the term that has stuck around for me throughout it all. 

It captures the spirit of a generalist that rides the ups, the downs, the easy and the hard and even the woodwork (where it exists but isn’t racing

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Kenny
+2 Andrew Major Poz
Kenny  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:52 p.m.

I like all mountain as well. I feel like no matter what bike I start with, hardtail for full suspension,  that's the best description of what it ends up being.

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trumpstinyhands
+8 Andrew Major taprider Andy Eunson kcy4130 mrbrett Mammal Cam McRae Spencer Nelson
trumpstinyhands  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:38 a.m.

I think you missed Power XC and Over Mountain! When I finally get a Boomer Scooter I want it painted in a Wade Simmons RM7 style but RM7 replaced by 'Broped'.

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AndrewMajor
+1 Morgan Heater
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:46 a.m.

Hahaha. My best attempt at an encyclopedic capturing of all the categories of MTB and I missed both ‘Boomer Scooter’ and ‘Broped.’

(And Over Mountain - which has to be a Brit term? - and Power XC which I assume is from Germany?)

Sorry!

Reply

trumpstinyhands
+1 Andrew Major
trumpstinyhands  - Jan. 5, 2022, 8:02 a.m.

Ha ha, Power XC was British but Over Mountain was Cannondale's version of All-Mountain.

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Jotegir
+1 Andrew Major
Lu Kz  - Jan. 5, 2022, 8:54 a.m.

Also "adventure"!

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FlipFantasia
+4 Andrew Major mrbrett Mammal lewis collins
Todd Hellinga  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:57 a.m.

Broped! [laughcry]

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andy-eunson
+7 Andrew Major trumpstinyhands Mammal Cr4w taprider Todd Hellinga Karl Fitzpatrick
Andy Eunson  - Jan. 5, 2022, 8:24 a.m.

Groped is much better than "heavy complex price of crap that cost more than my used Tacoma and needs a university degree to fix that motor that breaks a lot". Oops. Meant Broped but somehow Groped kind of works too after you lay down all that cash you may feel you’ve been groped.

Reply

hailecycles
+1 Andrew Major
hailecycles  - Jan. 5, 2022, 7:41 a.m.

Bravo! What a fantastic article.

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AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 6, 2022, 10:11 a.m.

Thanks!

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Jotegir
+1 Andrew Major
Lu Kz  - Jan. 5, 2022, 8:51 a.m.

And here I thought the moniker "All Mountain" was officially killed by that big website after the recent batch of 150-160mm trail bikes.

Reply

cheapondirt
+5 Andrew Major taprider Morgan Heater Pete Roggeman Tjaard Breeuwer
cheapondirt  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:02 a.m.

Rocky Mountain missed an opportunity with Ride-9. They could have given each position a name to describe the specific style of riding most encouraged by that setting. Pick your identity, buy one of the 9 jersey and sock options, don't be a dick about it though because everyone has a unique Ride-9 chip.

I'm position 3, by the way. I'm not sure if that's Aggressive Trail or Passive Enduro because they didn't freakin' label them. No wonder they had to regress to 4 positions - with identities attached, consumers would have welcomed at least 16!

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AndrewMajor
+3 Cr4w taprider cheapondirt
Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:29 a.m.

Definitely Passive-Aggressive Funduro!

Hahaha. Thanks for this!

And you know, between the shared-frames of the Altitude and Instinct there’s Ride-9 x 2. So really the Instinctitude / Altstinct has Ride-18!

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craw
+4 Andrew Major cheapondirt Mammal Pete Roggeman
Cr4w  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:55 a.m.

Instead of 'be a dick about it' it's 'leave a snippy note about it on your car'.

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cheapondirt
+7 Andrew Major Mammal Cam McRae Timer ackshunW Morgan Heater Pete Roggeman
cheapondirt  - Jan. 5, 2022, 10:38 a.m.

"Your bumper sticker says you're progressive, but your Ride-9 told me otherwise. P.S. Learn to park"

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AndrewMajor
+2 taprider cheapondirt
Andrew Major  - Jan. 6, 2022, 10:16 a.m.

I think (when it's not raining/snowing) my new hobby is going to be leaving aggressively crafted, complimentary notes on people's cars.

Like I saw a Rubicon the other day painted a rather fetching green colour and it would have probably made buddy's day to find a note until his windshield wiper that read:

"HEY YOU,

THIS GREEN COLOUR IS SICK.

NICE JOB PARKING BETWEEN THE LINES TOO (actually).

HAVE A GREAT WEEK!"

I mean, who does that? Me?!

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cheapondirt
+1 Andrew Major
cheapondirt  - Jan. 6, 2022, 12:15 p.m.

Ha! This sounds like a real art form.

I still think about the mysterious windshield note I received four years ago that simply questioned, "Did you feel it?" All morning I racked my mind but couldn't recall any unusual sensations. It was a successful psychological attack.

craw
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Cr4w  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:55 a.m.

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skooks
+1 Andrew Major
Skooks  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:15 p.m.

Haha, I really enjoyed this Andrew, thanks alot. My 135mm Fugitive LT transcends labels, but if I had to call it something it would be a Mountain Bike.

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AndrewMajor
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Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 2:34 p.m.

Cheers! I’m glad some folks were entertained rather than enraged.

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ackshunW
+7 Cam McRae taprider cheapondirt trumpstinyhands Andrew Major Morgan Heater Pete Roggeman
ackshunW  - Jan. 5, 2022, 12:56 p.m.

In the rocky rooty slow Northeast, with not a lot of Elevation (capital E), but many steeps and a ton of elevation change on any given ride, and some big moves mixed in thanks to the retreating glaciers and the boulders and rock faces they left behind, not to mention large fallen logs aplenty: a term emerged in the early 2000s that I liked -  Cross Stuntry. 

Apologies for the flowery sentence. It just felt right.

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AndrewMajor
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Andrew Major  - Jan. 5, 2022, 2:34 p.m.

I like Cross Stuntry. Cheers!

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syncro
+2 Andrew Major Pete Roggeman
Mark  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:42 p.m.

Ahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahaaha. Ha!

Moiste excellent Andrew, the industry can go F itself with this absolutely stupid proliferation of bike categories.

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BenS
+2 Andrew Major Morgan Heater
Ben Shaw  - Jan. 5, 2022, 4:46 p.m.

My Remedy is a Slo-ped

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heckler
+2 Mark Andrew Major
Sven Luebke  - Jan. 5, 2022, 5:55 p.m.

Having bike-pack gravel path and road toured and beerDH raced with a stock Reign and Hail Advanced loaded with 3 weeks of sleeping gear 500+ km Auckland to Rotorua, I can affirm a bike is just a bike.

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samnation
+1 Andrew Major
samnation  - Jan. 5, 2022, 9:14 p.m.

This article is gold! I tend to just build a bike and let other riders categorize it! From bikes that weigh 38 pounds and I pedal up to bikes that have dual crown forks and dirt jump parts on them.

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dirtsled
+2 Andrew Major Tjaard Breeuwer
dirtsled  - Jan. 6, 2022, 12:31 a.m.

Happy new year to you all!

DS, dirtsled? (prutslee in Dutch) Yeah silly username....only works on unpaved surfaces.

Out here, no mountains or hills, just mud (prut) when things are wet so we slide from here to there in winter.

However, i dont think this wonderfull sport of ours would have caught on with classifications based on sustained injuries.

As of the Day before xmas, i am thinking of my bike as an rb-bike, RIB BASHER, JRL in town when approching a turn my front-end rebelled and slid to the right, rest of bike and body went left resulting in a resounding crash, dont mixup directions, that dont work! I am sure you can find other initals, NC anyone???

Trying not to laugh or hickup at the moment....only four-five more weeks to go!!!???

Great article Andrew, on point and funny, reminds me of that article about men-specific bikes and other beautiful rants on marketing and gear, much appreciated!

Grtz!

Jord Mosselman

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AndrewMajor
+1 dirtsled
Andrew Major  - Jan. 6, 2022, 10:21 a.m.

Heal up Jord! Happy new year to you too. 

Thank you, but significantly less threatening correspondence on this one compared to M-S Bikes!

Dirt Sled sounds like a totally legit mountain bicycle category...

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taprider
+1 Andrew Major
taprider  - Jan. 6, 2022, 11:12 a.m.

I think I've seen something like a crazy carpet used to drag a bike across sand dunes to the next available rideable area

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morgan-heater
+1 Andrew Major
Morgan Heater  - Jan. 6, 2022, 9:26 a.m.

The comments are nearly as poetic as the article! Hilarious. Someone should collate a list of all the potential monikers and pin it to the top.

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AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 6, 2022, 10:18 a.m.

Tons of great comments!

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BadNudes
+1 Andrew Major
BadNudes  - Jan. 6, 2022, 7:46 p.m.

I mostly ride XXC, maybe on a road trip it'll be XXXC, on a porky hardtail. But at the risk of giving somebody a big head, this winter I'm trying to piece together my very own "Major bike"; metal, modern, min-maxed singlespeed, sometimes rigid, push-on grip smasher.

Thank you Andrew for sharing your thoughts through 2021. 

Sidequest, Magura MT Trail Sport with the nice short lever, or MT5s with the long lever but a whole 'nother pair of pistons? The things that keep me up at night.

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AndrewMajor
0
Andrew Major  - Jan. 6, 2022, 8:55 p.m.

I wouldn't worry about my head getting too big... between my friends (love you guys), family (love you guys), and the readership at NSMB I'm held pretty well in check. 

The Trail Sport is a great system and the two-piston rear caliper feels great - just keep the rotor sizes the same front and rear. I'd actually run that setup with my Formula Cura brakes as well except that the Cura-2 and Cura-4 feel quite different (both good - just different enough that it would bug me to mix-match) so I run the 2 or the 4. 

Excited to see shots of your new rig!

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SpencerN
+2 Andrew Major Tjaard Breeuwer
Spencer Nelson  - Jan. 7, 2022, 10:42 a.m.

I laugh at how seriously most of the industry loves to micro-categorize, and yet... I find myself doing the same thing with so much of my window (or worse, actual) shopping. My primary FS 29er trail bike has remained relatively static, thankfully. 

My 2nd bike is a Trek Farley, and the iterations I go through with it are ridiculous. Studded fat tires for winter as the default, makes sense. 29er wheelset for summer, 35mm inner width, so let's throw the widest slicks on it to make a sweet commuter. But I love singletrack, better buy some 29x3.0 XR2's so I can really contrast it against my FS 29er. But how much better could it feel if I had i40 carbon rims instead of i35 aluminum? Is rigid even my jam, or should I get a Lefty Ocho for the front end? Or maybe I should get a Mastodon so I don't have a unique front wheel. Or for even more contrast against the FS, what if I just bought some fast-rolling fat tires? And since this bike is intended to be focused on the experience (ie fun lower limits over absolute capabilities), what if I did a dropbar conversion? 

Not sure I can summarize where I'm going, other than to say "please send help".

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AndrewMajor
+1 Spencer Nelson
Andrew Major  - Jan. 8, 2022, 9:10 a.m.

You'll find no help here. Sounds like a fun example of adult-Lego to me! (not that regular Lego isn't for adults too).

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