How To Be A Mountain Biker

So… you guys all know that "tranny" is as offensive a slur as "nigger," right? I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt and say you didn't, because if you did, that's a serious asshole move you pulled right in the middle of the video.

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Great vid! You didn't miss anything except now you need to do a CHICK version- because that's ME! LOL

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Priceless!

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There are 2 types of riders. Those that hate Strava and those that stole the other one's KOMs.

When the doctor asks if you need a sling and crutches you tell him it's ok, you have those at home.

When debating clips vs platforms, the person with the most scars on their shin automatically looses.

At the beginning of every season you must buy a new set of handlebars that's 15mm wider than your old ones.

People at the office would really love to hear about your fork's new damper.

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Buy a 30k truck because you don't want to waste your knobbies on the pavement on the way to the trail.

Settle your differences with a hiker by agreeing we can all hate horses and fat bikes.

Spend your lunch hour debating parts specs with strangers on internet forums and end up buying the gold anodized one because it's the blingest.

Every year after the 24hour race: "I will never do that again."
Every year when it's time to sign up for the 24hour race: "Remember how awesome it was last year?"

If you buy the season pass you'll get injured after 2 days and miss the rest of the season. If you don't buy a season pass your friends will be on the lift every weekend while you ride boring old XC.

How many bikes do you really need? N+1

Everything else you will ever buy seems cheap. "$250 for this alternator? What a deal, that would be a $1000 mtb part."

All of your travel decisions involve checking out the local trails first, even when you're going to visit uncle Jerry in Kansas.

Your road bike tires are 30s.

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How do we get some of those sweet sweet stickers?

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now you shoud be doing something about how to be a road biker- these are a well known species as well 😀

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Must say Braaap when exiting all corners

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Looks at recently purchased flannel shirts with a new found sense of shame

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This is amazing. Buy a bike that is more expensive then your car, check!

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Doesn't recognize friends when they're not wearing a full face.

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Spot on with pretty much every point, except one. Women ride bikes too, dudes. (And we're as ridiculous about it as all these guys. Right down to the burr grinder for my coffee.) Carry on…

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No matter how taco'd your wheel is, your question to the mechanic is "Can you straighten this?".

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I think there's a "my lube is better than your lube" argument there somewhere

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Hey Pepperjester my Mazzer Super Jolly is a Burr Grinder. Maybe Burr Mill is what they call those low end grinders that you've been using. You must be new to mountain biking. Lol. 😉

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And the dorks of the year go to….Mountain Bikers! (Video proof above)

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Not sure if Strava has hit out west, but it is huge out here. Could just be that you west coasters are too laid back, to find Strava fun.

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Sheesh. I tick so many of those boxes it's embarrassing. I'd wear plaid to work if the director would let me.
I think it's missed facial hair though.

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That was awesome! Missing "rigid single speed" from the bike list.

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learn the name of the admitting nurse at your local hospital?

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This was awesome! One thing you missed though was SS. Which of course includes obsession about gear ratio / gear inches and whether to go rigid or suspension fork. My SS progression happened right after craft beer/coffee snob adaptation. Of course this could be a video in itself. Keep up the good work. Now go ride!

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Spot on! And the video of the year award goes to…

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Move towns to be nearer your favorite trails …
Build track sections in your back yard …
Know the weight of your bike, in lbs AND kg …
Rubbish any bike with a mudguard longer than an icecream lid …

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Forgot "Chemex"….. (possibly more Roadie than MTB though 🙂

Very funny, awesome!

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that was awesome

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Tell the story of every biking injury you've had over and over.

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burr grinder, ha ha ha. awesome!

back alley carbon hawking shot taken at the back of Steed cycles. how nerdy is that, i don't even live in Vancouver!

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You will be satisfied with your bike parts for a maximum of 2 rides. You feel sorry for people having brunch on a Sunday morning. You can like either Fox or Rockshox - not both, and either SRAM or Shimano. SRAM and rockshox being the same company is irrelevant to your decision.

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That was so accurate it hurt.

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Compare every mountain bike movie to Life Cycles.

Waving ferns in front of your lens is an accurate respresentation

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Zap-straps. Also, beer-snob is dead-on.

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