Cooking with NSMB.com
Is that a F#cking Potato?!
A younger me was a heavier me. Twenty pounds. Maybe more. I lost count. And I was a hungrier me too.
Older, possibly wiser, honestly faster, and with significantly more grizzled (please note I did not say chiseled) features, I now pedal loops in forty five minutes with a half-bottle of water that took younger me three Honey Stinger Waffles, a half a pack of Clif Blocks, and a fully loaded three litre Camelbak. I’m not claiming to be fast, or even moderately quick by anyone’s measure. Just faster.
Let’s start with a shot of the finished product. Yum! What you need? Baking Potatoes, Oil, SALT, Butter, and whatever you want to top them with. I’m a fan of Bacon, Cheese, and Green Onions.
The day of discovery was across the border. I was on a large group ride rambling around the hundred acre wood that is Galbraith near Bellingham Washington (Thanks WMBC!). A glorious day. Hot but with a nice breeze blowing. I’d recently started experimenting with a 1x drivetrain, pushing 32t x 11-32 nine-speed on my 33lb full suspension bike. 1:1 ratio is all you need isn’t it? It was a singletrack climbing suffer-fest. Finally we reached our planned resting point, a now overgrown Lake Whatcom lookout.
Time. For. FOOD!
Don’t have a well-stocked kitchen? Hit up your toolbox for all you need: scrub brush, tire lever, side cutters, that recently discarded granny ring… I was going to file down the cheese but alas the cheese grater seemed more sanitary. Prep time is less than ten minutes, so you’ll want some beer on hand for reading NSMB.com while you wait for cooking to happen.
Ripping into my pack I remove an energy bar, and I’m mowing down so quickly you couldn’t have captured it in slomo. It’s dry. It has a strong physical resemblance to its eventual end product. The taste is inoffensive at best. I’m not finished number one and I’m already thinking about number two (the energy bar, not the end product).
Next to me, a wizened old man named Todd, who has aged gracefully since then, is industriously unwrapping some aluminum foil.
Wait! Is that a f#cking baked potato?!
This is the way we scrub the spuds, scrub the spuds… A little dirt never hurt almost anyone.
Todd eases into a grin that expresses absolute victory as my half-wrapped chunk of dried out turd chew hits the ground. Can he do that? Cheese? Salt? Butter! Bacon bits? Chives? All the f#ckng fixin’s? Years removed I can vividly recall the unholy scream my stomach unleashed at the realization there are alternatives to eating $10 worth of pre-packaged future-sh!t on a ride.
Is THAT really a f#cking baked potato?
Preheat the Oven to ~350-degrees. Poke some holes in your spud bud with whatever pointy crap you have kicking around.
Yes, that is SALT. Coarse salt suspended in olive oil. You’re going to roll your Potato around in here until it is well and truly coated. Like lubing the foam rings on your suspension fork.
One hour and fifteen minutes. That’s 75 minutes in real life, but it’s probably 1:15 on your stove. Because stoves are like the bike industry *cough* 27.5 *cough*. The pan is to catch any drippings in the name of peace on the home front.
A few minutes of prep and then, while your oven is doing its thing, you have an hour to dial in your bike for tomorrow’s ride. It’s SO DELICIOUS. You think you like baked potato at home? Wait until you try it in the middle of nowhere while your friends are all trying to chew through flavoured belt leather.
I eat very little on most rides these days, but it has been a long time since any part of that very little was an energy bar. If it’s a long enough ride for chow it’s a long enough ride for something filling. For real food.
Mmmmmmm cheese. Time to grate up whichever is your favourite today! I probably forget to mention we had some bacon in a frying pan bubbling away this whole time. That’s cooking shows for you…
BACON! Bacon, bacon, bacon… For full effect I gave cutting the green onions with side cutters the old college try… but, if I’m being honest, after two chops I got out a knife.
Split ’em in the middle and push from either end to open them up. If you can ride without gloves you aren’t allowed to cry about a little burning sensation on your hands… for everyone else — Chris King makes Salt-&-Pepper shakers, why doesn’t TroyLee make Oven Mitts?
In the time it took you to comment on the article, get called out for commenting without reading the article, get defensive, actually read the article, revise your comment, and put some lube on your bike chain, your baked potatoes are ready for tomorrow’s ride. Unfortunately, your brake pads are still metal-backing-plate-on-rotor but what can you do?
Butter.
I’m a cheese, bacon, and onion (or chives) man. Load ’em up with whatever you like.
Aluminum. No longer cool for bikes. Still awesome for wrapping your potato.
It takes the same amount of time to make four potatoes as it does to make one so why not make one for everyone?
Or not. It’s twice as delicious when everyone else watches you enjoy it.
Do you bring real food on the ride? Maybe a steak? Some sushi?
Comments
Jonathan Harris
7 years, 10 months ago
No one into boiled eggs? They may not have the carbs but they fill a growling stomach very well.
I have been known to boil baby potatoes and sprinkle with sale and olive oil for longer rides and agree that 'real' food often satisfies way better than an energy bar.
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Pete Roggeman
7 years, 10 months ago
Lots of protein, though - hard to digest when you're cranking.
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Velocipedestrian
4 years, 5 months ago
Time for a dredge, Pinkbike has caught up with your wisdom.
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Andrew Major
4 years, 5 months ago
Hahahaha. Yeah, it prompted me to come back here and fix the photos. Pretty cool to see some references to this piece in the Pinkbike comments as it was run in 2016.
Thanks for remembering!
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Chantal Felten
7 years, 10 months ago
Looks like the Helmer potato farm needs to sponsor a nimby feed station 🙂
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steve low
7 years, 10 months ago
Now im from Australia so i realize Vegemite is an aquired taste but just a couple of Vegemite sangas through a ride does me. Its high in B group vitamins, folate and sodium. On some wholemeal bread and water in my pack/bottle and im good!!
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Vegemite, an acquired taste like so many things in Australia: being bitten by poisonous snakes and/or spiders, de-limbed by crocodiles, having your small children eaten by dingos, Keith Urban music, un-speakable relations with sheep and/or kangaroos, living 30x people deep in a small cupboard in Whist-La-Beee- Cee… Etc, etc, etc.
Kidding… Kidding… Mostly kidding…
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steve low
7 years, 10 months ago
Pretty much sums up life here really. Only the kiwis tend to prefer the sheep and were more inclined for the native wildlife for our errrr romantic interudes!
I hear a friendly moose can be talked into just about anything?…….hmmm keith urban is a bit iffy tho 😜
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Rob Gretchen
7 years, 10 months ago
Awesome Andrew, just awesome!
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Thanks Rob!
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Deniz Merdano
7 years, 10 months ago
An ultra marathon running fellow i know claims to make mashed potatoes and pack them into Ziploc bags for quick snack during races. High glycemic index for quick power increase he says. It must work because last time he came 2nd at the race only because he had to take a dump in the woods.
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Jonas Dodd
7 years, 10 months ago
Great idea, and great article. Looking forward to trying your recipe out on my next ride although I don't know how well the sour cream will fare.
It would be great to see more writing on food (and drink) and biking on NSMB!
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Yeah, I don't sour cream mine… In terms of dairy the cheese and butter holds up great though.
Thanks!
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tw
7 years, 10 months ago
Drew. Remember brother, the potato goes in the front……
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Oh, for sure! It's in bold & italics at the top of the bike reviewer handbook under the category 'action shots'.
I "heard" a rumour Uncle Dave sticks a 2lb yam down his shorts anytime he's getting photographed riding a bike. You should fire him an Ask Uncle Dave e-mail asking about it!
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Merwinn
7 years, 10 months ago
Advantage: Potato.
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rvoi
7 years, 10 months ago
I prefer conventional fuel too… a hunk of cheese, some sliced salami, an apple and a few cookies. It would have to be a full day ride with a planned lunch and nap for me to ruck and chow a baked potato.
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ExtraSpecialandBitter
7 years, 10 months ago
Our group of friends always has a "Calzone Party" and we cook up as many calzones as we can make in an evening and then freeze them all. The morning of a big ride, pull it out of the freezer and it will be perfect by snack time (in the winter, pull it out the evening before). Mountain Calzone:
I also really like Feed Zone Portables ( ). They have a lot of cool ideas and a really good section on nutrition. There's also some recipes in there I use for regular meals, like beet juice waffles as the base for some eggs benedict, yum!
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Vik Banerjee
7 years, 10 months ago
Hopefully when I pull my tater out of the bottom of my pack 3 months later for an emergency bonk beating snack it will still be as delicious as these look. 😉
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jprime
7 years, 10 months ago
That saison tho :/
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Bridge Brewing's Lemon Gin Saison is my favourite growler fill at the moment. Mmmmmm.
Throw two growlers in the back of the Chariot and my Toddler naps while I roll to Bridge or Black Kettle.
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CoilAir
7 years, 10 months ago
It's really awesome. Just tried it last weekend at a BBQ.
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Pete Roggeman
7 years, 10 months ago
What tool are you going to use to strain the pasta for next week's article, Andrew?
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Hmmm… I have a pair of well loved Sugoi RS bib shorts that are WAY overdue for retirement…
Fettuccini Chamois anyone?
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Cooper Quinn
7 years, 10 months ago
I'm going to resist the 'cheese' joke here. As I just threw up in my mouth a little bit.
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Merwinn
7 years, 10 months ago
Make the bad man stop.
What 'chu gonna eat on Sat during NIMBY?
GT
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Really hoping to do Nimby again next year -- the year I did it for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to ride my singlespeed; Beef Jerky and my friends BrianE and Joe are the only reasons I finished.
Beef Jerky because it helped with the cramps, bonking, and the motivation to find my way back to civilization (beer goes well with jerky).
BrianE and Joe because when I ran into them, separately, in the last 1/4 of the course I realized MY cramps weren't that bad (thanks Brian) and I wasn't that "Fucked" (thanks Joe).
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earle.b
7 years, 10 months ago
I had forgotten about that one. That was the worst cramp up I have ever had in 24 years of riding. I have unfinished business with the Nimby.
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Pete Roggeman
7 years, 10 months ago
I'm sorry I asked.
Funny enough I have some overdue for retirement RS bibs as well. They lasted over 10 years - I can't complain.
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Sounds like a great chance for an Iron Chef style, Andrew vs. Pete, NSMB.com Sugoi RS pasta cook off!
We'll get celebrity judges Cooper, Merwinn, and Cam to try both dishes and pick a winner!
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
No doubt! The frustrated furrowing of your sweat laced brow as you desperately tried to reason out which of your useless limbs to massage first was worthy of a painting in Versailles!
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steve low
7 years, 10 months ago
Spokes?? Or that a bit too obvious? 😄
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Brizzy
7 years, 10 months ago
This is brilliant. I bring "climbing burritos" - nut butter, honey, dried fruit, and cereal rolled up in a tortilla. Just as sticky as a power brick, but much tastier/cheaper. The same guy that introduced me to those brings turkey dinner leftovers on a winter mountain summit. He knows how to do it right.
I've been meaning to try Alton Brown's DIY energy bars for some time. They look good too.
CORN DOGS (Rapha parody)!
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Raymond Epstein
7 years, 10 months ago
As a type one diabetic since I was sixteen, choosing food for riding efforts has always been a challenge. All of the gels/bars/chews always provided too much of a glucose increase resulting in me me feeling like crap. I had the opportunity back in '07 to ride in Switzerland and was blown away at how great I did just eating normal food for lunches and snacks. In the morning before our 6-8hr plus rides we'd stop at the local markets and purchase cheeses, fruit, deli meats, chocolate, etc. Since, then I gave up all the processed junk and my favorite "energy" food I carry are dried organic figs. On longer rides where we'll stop for lunch, I will bring the aforementioned items as well as occasionally a canned beer, espresso and beef jerky. White potatoes as mentioned above are great, but I still use them sparingly, due to their high glycemic index. Instead, I go with sweet potato wedges with salt, cayene and olive oil. Ride on.
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Thanks Raymond!
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litespeed74
7 years, 10 months ago
As a North Idaho native I'm ashamed I've never thought of this….
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
I think you'll have to cater the spuds on your next group ride as penance 🙂
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colin
7 years, 10 months ago
potatoes are great…i've used mini-potatoes in a ziplock with olive oil, salt, parmesan cheese in multi-hour bike races. great article! i've also dumped power bars et all many years ago. not sure why i felt i needed to buy them.
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Yum. A roasted mini potato / roasted carrot (slightly crunchy) mix would be incredible?!
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colin
7 years, 10 months ago
next time i'm going to try smashed up potato chips in the mix; yeah i think something crunchy in there would be awesome
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Poo Stance
7 years, 10 months ago
Or just go straight to dinosaur-ing bags of chips as a mid-ride snack.
An unopened bag of Kettle Crisps in a pack will also act as airbag of sorts during a crash!
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Cr4w
7 years, 10 months ago
I've been known to rock a peanut butter and nutella sandwich. Though the potato idea is intriguing!
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qduffy
7 years, 10 months ago
I thought about this idea for the Nimby but then realized Pemberton has some kind of potato-free zone around it. Bummer.
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Cam McRae
7 years, 10 months ago
Seed potatoes are welcome though.
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Poo Stance
7 years, 10 months ago
My mom makes homemade trail-mix and cookies so I sometimes bring that on a ride.
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DrewM
7 years, 10 months ago
Your mom is awesome. You should bake her a potato to say thanks.
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